You're all moms. You know what it's like to be grateful for that job but still wish you were at home with the kiddos. Or maybe you're grateful to be a stay at home mom who wishes she could get out more. This delicate balance is as old as motherhood. After all, women are capable creatures who keep society moving forward in spite of all obstacles - with screaming babies on our hips!
So I'm NOT saying that a woman's place is in the home or convent and that's it. I'm certainly NOT saying that a woman's life is over because she has children. There is a balance and our faith helps us find it.
What got me started with all this? Well, lately I feel like getting out of "mom mode" and using my theology degree. On a practical level this is much harder than it first appears. There are plenty of budding theologians who teach classes, work the speaking circuit and (shudder) blog. How am I to enter this world without putting my family out? And do I really want to?
On the other hand, I'm intelligent, motivated and educated. Shouldn't I be working to my capacity or working toward a PhD.? Should't I be planting the seeds of success now so that I can harvest them when my kids are a few years older?
It's really hard watching the years go by, helping others accomplish things and never seeing your dreams come to light. I don't claim to be the best parent but we've all seen children experience bad parenting. It's devastating. I don't want that for my children either.
So what to do? Being the reasonably good Catholic that I am my first course of action is to pray. After all, God did create me. I'm His daughter, too. He had dreams for me before I could dream for myself. And He can see all things which means that I will never waste my time by listening to His advice.
And do you know what I learned? Not that I'm stuck, but that He really values what I'm doing now. So what if I'm only volunteering for a parish women's bible study? Are they any less worthy of learning His word? (Not that I'm teaching it. But just being part of the group gives these ladies more confidence in their studies.) Should I take any less joy in their process of discovery than He does? And who better to raise my children to know and love Him than me?
In short, do I value what God values? Or would I rather be "a success", admired by the world? If I cannot do what is in front of me with great love how can I call myself Christian at all??
I am forced to admit that God values His children, the people in my home and who I meet in my daily life, more than He values my idea of success.
The beautiful thing about prayer is that it doesn't "keep you in your place" but helps you see the world as God sees it. I don't know where He will lead me but I know that it will be a much better place than I had envisioned for myself.
May God continue to bless you!!