In Mary's Footsteps: A Change of Pace

Friday, May 16, 2014

A Change of Pace

Hello Ladies,

Today I'm going to do something that I thought I would never do: get personal. I've tried to be as anonymous and neutral as possible because I want to be a source of comfort to all moms and not just those who fit into my racial/political/religious/educational strata. What would be the point of that? Also I've looked at other 'mom blogs'. They are entertaining, well written, and sometimes wise. But to write about myself? Well, I prefer reading about their lives to explaining mine.

But then I got to thinking; who wants to read about dry theology, anyway? Perhaps this "Everywoman" approach is informative but lacks the intimacy of a friend. I have also come to the realization that I want other women to share in my journey. Why would you post a comment if you have no clue who I am? Yes, my posts will continue to be theology based and anonymous but from now on I'm going to write to you as a friend.

So friends, here is a little about myself.

I chose the name Mariam for my blog because it was the name I chose for my confirmation when I was 16. I have always felt close to Mary but that relationship continues to be conflicted because of the strained relationship with my earthly mother. My mother died several years ago as a direct result of her addictions. Even though I went through a tumultuous childhood I no longer blame my mother for all the bad things in my life (probably because she can't cause any more damage). I miss her.

I am the mother of three children: boy (7), girl (4), and girl (almost 2). They keep me exceedingly busy but they are worth it.

I was raised Catholic and continue in my Catholic faith because the elders in my life whom I greatly respect continued in their faith. They overcame great hardships with patience and grace. I saw firsthand that the power of love could conquer self-loathing and hate.

Things I like about being Catholic:

The Eucharist. Whether in mass or at adoration it is the only place where I feel I am "good enough". I am in the presence of Love, after all. I also feel closer to those who have died and yes, even the children in my family waiting to be born.

The communion of saints. Time and space don't matter. I continue to be close to my grandmother. Sometimes I feel my mother's love surrounding me. I'm not saying that she suddenly became a saint when she died. But I do believe that once she saw the power of Love she could finally love in ways that she couldn't manage while trapped in her diseased body. Sometimes I think that watching over me and my children is a part of her purgatory. I have no theological basis for this. I just feel that to give and receive love is healing for us both.

The prayers. Yes! The prayers! I love that Catholic prayers, especially the mass, (and the Our Father, of course) have been said, sung, and chanted for thousands of years in countless languages. Now THAT is stability.

Things that drive me crazy:

Criticism. I put my best into everything I do. I'm not a perfectionist but I set high standards for myself. I work hard to be accountable for all of my actions. So I HATE being second-guessed. Have a problem with my kitchen? Go ahead and clean it. Just don't ask me what I've been doing all day. If being a mom were simply an exercise in time management... Grrrr...

People who speed through school zones. 'Nuff said.

Popular media: I'm supposed to think uncharitable thoughts about people I have never met because of some unsubstantiated sound bite? I think not. And PLEASE, before you criticize the church, study history, or philosophy, or the doctrine in question. Then come talk to me. I cannot believe that people can make money using arguments that would have earned me a failing grade. And do not get me started on advertising or "feminist" magazines that promote sex as the pinnacle of feminine power and freedom.

Things that I love but maybe shouldn't:

The shows "Say Yes to the Dress" and "What Not to Wear". I also love "Rehab Addict" and "Property Brothers". I also like "Doctor Who", "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", and "Babylon 5". I don't have the time to keep up with "Downton Abbey" or any show with a continuous storyline.

I love 'The Dresden Files' written by Jim Butcher. Like 'the kids have to wait while I read' kind of love.

"Lord of the Rings". The books - not the movies. Also "The Chronicles of Narnia".

My kids know the words to "Not My Mama's Broken Heart" by Miranda Lambert. I think I should be concerned about this.

Random tidbits:

My favorite time period is the Middle Ages. I have no fear of Old and Middle English.

I love Latin but I'm terrible at it.

I read theology books in my spare time.

I hate mornings and run on coffee. A friend of mine told me that I don't eat as much as I think I do because of the children distracting me or eating off of my plate.

I hate to admit it but I've been diagnosed with postpartum depression after the birth of both of my girls.

Well, that's about it. I hope this makes me seem more accessible and, well, human. I am looking forward to getting to know you.

Mariam

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Prayer for Children

Mary, Mother of God, and Mother of all Christians, you presented your Divine Son in the Temple. Now I present to you the children whom God has graciously given me. By the grace of their Baptism, which incorporated them into Christ, you became their Mother. I entrust them to you, to your guidance and vigilance. Make them healthy in both soul and body. Help them to become useful citizens of their own country, but let them not forget the Kingdom of God. If they go astray, lead them back to your Son so that they may obtain forgiveness and peace. Enable us all to reach eternal happiness with you and your Divine Son in heaven.

Amen.

About this Blog

“In Mary's Footsteps” is a blog about one Roman Catholic mom’s attempt to lead a spiritual life in the midst of the controlled chaos that is raising young children. Roman Catholic women are encouraged to take Mary a model for their own lives but we modern women are not given any direction as to what that means. Face it, Mary never did pray the rosary. She risked her life, the life of her unborn child, and the honor of her family to say “yes” to God. She was forced to travel away from her family to perform the Roman census. She delivered her baby on her own and had to place her newborn in a receptacle animals used to eat from. How different from what any mother wants for herself and her baby! And this is just the beginning. How did she do it? Where did she get the strength not only to persevere but also to raise the Son of God? Modern Catholic women DO have a wonderful example in Mary and in our own Roman Catholic traditions. We just need to claim it.

This blog is a chronicle of my journey through Marian traditions of the Roman Catholic Church. It is my hope that other women may be inspired to contemplate how God is uniquely working in their lives and to discern the person God is calling them to be.

DISCLAIMER

I do not promise to be systematic. I am not a counselor. I do have some theology training and will always try to stay true to Catholic doctrine. In the end it is up to you, the reader, to decide for yourself what works for you in your own life. If you disagree with my interpretations or I accidently get the theology wrong then follow your conscience and disregard what I am saying. My posts are meant to be used as vehicles for thought and meditation not claims on the truth. I do not promise to post regularly. As I said, I am a mother of young children and my family must come first. And since I am the mother of young children I do not promise that I will always make sense or that my grammar will be perfect. I will always try to source my material but may have to default to “some saint said this or that”. The academic in me cringes at that but I am far from my theology library both by distance and time. At least I will not commit the academic heresy of plagiarism. This blog is not intended for academic use, to supersede the teachings of any priest or religious, or as a vehicle of criticism of the church or any person. I know that we moms have to adapt to our particular situations and to allow God to meet us where we are. That is the point of the blog. I do have a bit of a biting sense of humor. I’ll try to be myself while realizing that you might not know when I’m joking or not.

ABOUT ME

I have decided to remain anonymous. It is my feeling that if people know who I am that I would be writing to impress instead of being honest. The world is full of people who want to impress and frankly I’m not as cool as they are so maybe I can beat them in the honesty. I also have two young children (a boy and a baby girl) and I wish to keep them anonymous as well.

I will tell you that I am a native of North America and that I have lived in areas classified as deserts, swamps and rainforests. I have lived in the far North (strong and free!), in the American south and southwest. I have also lived in Europe and speak French. I LOVE Latin but am terrible at it. I will also be incredibly surprised if enough people read this blog to wonder who I am at all.