In Mary's Footsteps: One of Those Days- kenosis

Thursday, October 10, 2013

One of Those Days- kenosis

Dear Ladies,

Have you ever had one of those days when you wake up angry? When you resent having to get breakfast for the kids and change the baby's diaper? You know you should be grateful for all of your blessings but you don't and that makes you feel even worse...

Tonight I want to go to adoration but if I do then the kitchen won't be cleaned and I'll be totally unprepared for tomorrow. It's easy to say that things will work out when you're not responsible for getting the tedious details of life done. So I have the desire to take care of myself spiritually but I have to weigh that against the physical need for sleep. It's all so unfair. How can it be so hard to have a half hour alone with the Lord?

Yes, this is exactly how I feel now. It's not nice. It's not joyful. I'm not beaming with pride or personal fulfillment. I just feel tired and worn out. And alone. And yes, angry. I would give anything for a call from a friend right now (as long as she wouldn't mind talking while I clean the kitchen). These feelings are normal. They're honest. Feeling this way doesn't make me a bad person. God knows I'm weak.

How do you know when you give too much? When you cannot give joyfully. What do you do when you cannot give joyfully but still have to give more? Invite Jesus into your kitchen and talk to him while you clean. Some of my best prayer time happens when I'm washing dishes or folding laundry. Usually I say things like: "You know I'm doing this for You, right? I mean, I don't take any particular pleasure in cleaning the same cup for the fifth time in one day. The night is lovely and I would much prefer to be going for a walk. But am I? No! I must love You and my family a whole heck of a lot to put up with this!" Okay, so it's juvenile. But it beats saying: "I cannot believe how ungrateful my family is. I feel so powerless and unappreciated. If I go out this late then I'll really regret it in the morning. How fair is that??"

I added the word 'kenosis' to the title. Kenosis is emptying one's self so that God may enter. It doesn't mean that our own thoughts aren't important. Our thoughts are so powerful that they can invite in or shut out the grace of God. Our thoughts are crucial. We must use them wisely. So instead of feeling sorry for myself, or stuff my emotions into a corner and pretend that they are unworthy of notice, I'm going to clean the kitchen and know that I'm doing it for love of Him and my family.

Life is hard. No matter who you are or what you do - it's hard. Whether you have one child or a dozen - it's hard. It's so easy to believe that others have it better than you. They don't. We still have to finish the tedious details of everyday life. They're not sexy or fun. But they need to be done. And we can invite God to join us or we can shut Him out. I've done it both ways and I prefer the former. My way might be a little bit messy - but so is my kitchen.

May God continue to bless you.

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Prayer for Children

Mary, Mother of God, and Mother of all Christians, you presented your Divine Son in the Temple. Now I present to you the children whom God has graciously given me. By the grace of their Baptism, which incorporated them into Christ, you became their Mother. I entrust them to you, to your guidance and vigilance. Make them healthy in both soul and body. Help them to become useful citizens of their own country, but let them not forget the Kingdom of God. If they go astray, lead them back to your Son so that they may obtain forgiveness and peace. Enable us all to reach eternal happiness with you and your Divine Son in heaven.

Amen.

About this Blog

“In Mary's Footsteps” is a blog about one Roman Catholic mom’s attempt to lead a spiritual life in the midst of the controlled chaos that is raising young children. Roman Catholic women are encouraged to take Mary a model for their own lives but we modern women are not given any direction as to what that means. Face it, Mary never did pray the rosary. She risked her life, the life of her unborn child, and the honor of her family to say “yes” to God. She was forced to travel away from her family to perform the Roman census. She delivered her baby on her own and had to place her newborn in a receptacle animals used to eat from. How different from what any mother wants for herself and her baby! And this is just the beginning. How did she do it? Where did she get the strength not only to persevere but also to raise the Son of God? Modern Catholic women DO have a wonderful example in Mary and in our own Roman Catholic traditions. We just need to claim it.

This blog is a chronicle of my journey through Marian traditions of the Roman Catholic Church. It is my hope that other women may be inspired to contemplate how God is uniquely working in their lives and to discern the person God is calling them to be.

DISCLAIMER

I do not promise to be systematic. I am not a counselor. I do have some theology training and will always try to stay true to Catholic doctrine. In the end it is up to you, the reader, to decide for yourself what works for you in your own life. If you disagree with my interpretations or I accidently get the theology wrong then follow your conscience and disregard what I am saying. My posts are meant to be used as vehicles for thought and meditation not claims on the truth. I do not promise to post regularly. As I said, I am a mother of young children and my family must come first. And since I am the mother of young children I do not promise that I will always make sense or that my grammar will be perfect. I will always try to source my material but may have to default to “some saint said this or that”. The academic in me cringes at that but I am far from my theology library both by distance and time. At least I will not commit the academic heresy of plagiarism. This blog is not intended for academic use, to supersede the teachings of any priest or religious, or as a vehicle of criticism of the church or any person. I know that we moms have to adapt to our particular situations and to allow God to meet us where we are. That is the point of the blog. I do have a bit of a biting sense of humor. I’ll try to be myself while realizing that you might not know when I’m joking or not.

ABOUT ME

I have decided to remain anonymous. It is my feeling that if people know who I am that I would be writing to impress instead of being honest. The world is full of people who want to impress and frankly I’m not as cool as they are so maybe I can beat them in the honesty. I also have two young children (a boy and a baby girl) and I wish to keep them anonymous as well.

I will tell you that I am a native of North America and that I have lived in areas classified as deserts, swamps and rainforests. I have lived in the far North (strong and free!), in the American south and southwest. I have also lived in Europe and speak French. I LOVE Latin but am terrible at it. I will also be incredibly surprised if enough people read this blog to wonder who I am at all.