Hello Ladies,
Today I would like to share with you one of my favorite Christmas songs. It is a perfect example of what our relationship with God should be. We think we are not important to anyone. We are necessary to God's loving plan. Have the strength to love others, be vulnerable, forgive, pick yourself up, and know that you are not alone in your journey. Walk along in humility. You don't have to know all the answers. Walk in strength. You do not need to remain in abusive situations. Dare to forgive - even if from a safe distance. Every moment you choose to love, you choose God.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8_475FKJWQ
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
I have traveled many moonless nights
Cold and weary with a babe inside
And I wonder what I've done
Holy Father, You have come
And chosen me now to carry Your Son
I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now, be with me now
Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, Breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy
Breath of Heaven
Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one should have had my place?
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of Your plan
Help me be strong, help me be, help me
Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, Breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy
Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy
Breath of Heaven, Breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven
AMY GRANT
Songwriters
CHRIS EATON, AMY GRANT
Read more: Amy Grant - Breath Of Heaven Lyrics | MetroLyrics
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Saturday, December 21, 2013
In the Beginning...
Hello Ladies,
What I am humbly offering you today is the start of a Christian allegory of the journey of the soul. It is not enough to say "God loves you". This is true. But it helps to have a context to put it in. The Christian worldview is an exciting one complete with epic battles over the fate of humanity, supernatural beings, and love that transcends time and space. If you want a really good read look up The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis or The Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien. These are true masterpieces. But since I am not a bachelor and/or do not have a wife to lighten my workload, you will have to be content with the following.
In the beginning…
…there was you and God. Surrounding you was the rest of creation, but that was ok because God was the center of it all. Every voice, unique and distinct, was lifted in song, creating a melody greater than the sum of any one part. And that was as it should be.
Then came a change, small at first, a discordant cord. Then came a crash, a break, a sense of… loss. But still there was God, shining in the center. And there was peace.
Then one day a messenger of God came before you.
“Would you like to be tested?” asked the angel.
“What would that entail?” you asked of the angel.
“God will be obscured from you. You will have a chance to hear the discordant voices. You will be given the power to choose your own path, to choose a way other than God.”
“But why would I choose to undergo such a test?”
“Because God, creator of all, sees your potential to become greater and wiser than you are now. You may choose to be tested. At the end there will be judgment. All that you have chosen that is not of God will be burned away. Your sins will be forgotten and your sacrifices and strengths perfected.”
Then the angel took you by the hand and showed you the earth. For the first time you became aware of the concepts of space and time. You became aware of separateness and isolation. And you felt small and trembled.
“Do not fear, little one,” said the angel. “You will begin as small and secret as a dream. Then you will grow. You will be helpless and vulnerable. You will learn to love by being loved first.”
But you could see so much sorrow and fear that you were not convinced.
“What happens to those who do not choose God?”
The angel stood aside and before you lay a void of agony and isolation.
“Who would choose to go there?” you asked.
“Those who refused to see the beauty within themselves and so did not honor it in others. They lived their lives in thoughtlessness, fear and dread. For they knew deep down that what they were doing was not right.”
“Why doesn’t God do something??”
“Because God loves us and respects our decisions. Their small decisions in life formed them and led them there. When God called to them, they did not recognize Him and turned away. They always thought they would spare themselves in the end. They were wrong.”
“Then why would I leave my place of safety?”
Again the angel moved and before you lay a place of trust, joy, growth, and harmony; souls gathered together at a feast. There is a sense of love, not of blind faith as you have known, but of a relationship whose bonds have been tried and found secure. The beauty of grace and gratitude is breathtaking; the souls are grateful for God’s love and grace and God is grateful for their steadfastness in adversity.
“What am I to do?” you asked the angel.
“Be who God created you to be. Sing your song to others. Love. Always. God will be with you. And so will I.”
May God Continue to Bless You!!
What I am humbly offering you today is the start of a Christian allegory of the journey of the soul. It is not enough to say "God loves you". This is true. But it helps to have a context to put it in. The Christian worldview is an exciting one complete with epic battles over the fate of humanity, supernatural beings, and love that transcends time and space. If you want a really good read look up The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis or The Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien. These are true masterpieces. But since I am not a bachelor and/or do not have a wife to lighten my workload, you will have to be content with the following.
In the beginning…
…there was you and God. Surrounding you was the rest of creation, but that was ok because God was the center of it all. Every voice, unique and distinct, was lifted in song, creating a melody greater than the sum of any one part. And that was as it should be.
Then came a change, small at first, a discordant cord. Then came a crash, a break, a sense of… loss. But still there was God, shining in the center. And there was peace.
Then one day a messenger of God came before you.
“Would you like to be tested?” asked the angel.
“What would that entail?” you asked of the angel.
“God will be obscured from you. You will have a chance to hear the discordant voices. You will be given the power to choose your own path, to choose a way other than God.”
“But why would I choose to undergo such a test?”
“Because God, creator of all, sees your potential to become greater and wiser than you are now. You may choose to be tested. At the end there will be judgment. All that you have chosen that is not of God will be burned away. Your sins will be forgotten and your sacrifices and strengths perfected.”
Then the angel took you by the hand and showed you the earth. For the first time you became aware of the concepts of space and time. You became aware of separateness and isolation. And you felt small and trembled.
“Do not fear, little one,” said the angel. “You will begin as small and secret as a dream. Then you will grow. You will be helpless and vulnerable. You will learn to love by being loved first.”
But you could see so much sorrow and fear that you were not convinced.
“What happens to those who do not choose God?”
The angel stood aside and before you lay a void of agony and isolation.
“Who would choose to go there?” you asked.
“Those who refused to see the beauty within themselves and so did not honor it in others. They lived their lives in thoughtlessness, fear and dread. For they knew deep down that what they were doing was not right.”
“Why doesn’t God do something??”
“Because God loves us and respects our decisions. Their small decisions in life formed them and led them there. When God called to them, they did not recognize Him and turned away. They always thought they would spare themselves in the end. They were wrong.”
“Then why would I leave my place of safety?”
Again the angel moved and before you lay a place of trust, joy, growth, and harmony; souls gathered together at a feast. There is a sense of love, not of blind faith as you have known, but of a relationship whose bonds have been tried and found secure. The beauty of grace and gratitude is breathtaking; the souls are grateful for God’s love and grace and God is grateful for their steadfastness in adversity.
“What am I to do?” you asked the angel.
“Be who God created you to be. Sing your song to others. Love. Always. God will be with you. And so will I.”
May God Continue to Bless You!!
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Conversion - The Integrity Project
Hello Ladies,
A Christian talking about conversion can be a tricky thing. It conjures images of annoying people ringing your doorbell during a nap time to tell you that you are going to hell unless you follow their beliefs. It implies disrespect for your way of life and the values that you as an intelligent person hold dear. It violates the 'live and let live' mentality that is the basis for any free society. The words "guilt", "intolerance", "manipulated" and "theocracy" come to mind. I live in a secular society. I know how it goes. I am free to be Catholic as long as nobody knows about it. On the other hand I'm not of the belief that you have to follow my way or you're going to hell either.
So, being a Catholic who doesn't bang on doors and doesn't believe that you are going to hell because you are not rattling those rosary beads, what have I got to say about conversion?
That you have been created for the sole purpose of being loved and loving in kind.
That's it. Ok - one more thing:
If you knew how much you are loved you would cry for joy.
You are not some sort of cosmic accident. You are not here to "make others happy". You are not here to fill some dogmatic idea of what it is to be a woman (whether the dogma be religious or secular). You are unique in all of creation. You will only be on this earth for a short time. You are here because at the moment of your conception, possibly before, God could not imagine anything more beautiful and perfect than you. You were created to be loved by God and to love God in return.
Let me tell you a story about a man I met when I was a child. I don't really remember what he was like before this incident. He was an acquaintance of my father and he was involved in international real estate. He was very, very good at it. [Author's note: The following is a summary of what this man told my father in my hearing.]
One day I was closing a deal in Rome. My host took me to see the architecture at St. Peter's Square. [This man was an atheist.] I was standing there when there was some commotion and... I found myself face to face with Pope John Paul II. No exaggeration. The pope smiled at me and started speaking to me in Italian. My host began to translate. Hearing the English, John Paul II immediately switched languages and began asking me questions about myself. ("Why would the pope care about me? With all those Catholics standing around, too!") When the pope heard I worked in international real estate, he became very excited and said "God has heard my prayers! I am so happy to meet you. You are the one. Think of the poor. They have no homes. They need you. The need you now. I am praying for you!"
Well, what could I do after that? The pope was praying for me by name for crissakes. Told me that God had placed me there. Didn't even tell me to go to church. Guess there's more to life than making money.
A few years later my father heard that this man had been heckled at a real estate conference for giving a talk about social justice while making money. Last I heard this man still made money but he was truly happy for the first time in his life.
You are loved. You are unique in all of creation. If you knew how much you are loved you would cry for joy. You are who and where you are for a reason. Do not let others quantify you. You are without price and loved constantly without cost. You are irreplaceable. You have dignity which others cannot take from you. You are beloved of God.
If I have one prayer it is that one day you will truly believe this.
May God continue to bless you!
A Christian talking about conversion can be a tricky thing. It conjures images of annoying people ringing your doorbell during a nap time to tell you that you are going to hell unless you follow their beliefs. It implies disrespect for your way of life and the values that you as an intelligent person hold dear. It violates the 'live and let live' mentality that is the basis for any free society. The words "guilt", "intolerance", "manipulated" and "theocracy" come to mind. I live in a secular society. I know how it goes. I am free to be Catholic as long as nobody knows about it. On the other hand I'm not of the belief that you have to follow my way or you're going to hell either.
So, being a Catholic who doesn't bang on doors and doesn't believe that you are going to hell because you are not rattling those rosary beads, what have I got to say about conversion?
That you have been created for the sole purpose of being loved and loving in kind.
That's it. Ok - one more thing:
If you knew how much you are loved you would cry for joy.
You are not some sort of cosmic accident. You are not here to "make others happy". You are not here to fill some dogmatic idea of what it is to be a woman (whether the dogma be religious or secular). You are unique in all of creation. You will only be on this earth for a short time. You are here because at the moment of your conception, possibly before, God could not imagine anything more beautiful and perfect than you. You were created to be loved by God and to love God in return.
Let me tell you a story about a man I met when I was a child. I don't really remember what he was like before this incident. He was an acquaintance of my father and he was involved in international real estate. He was very, very good at it. [Author's note: The following is a summary of what this man told my father in my hearing.]
One day I was closing a deal in Rome. My host took me to see the architecture at St. Peter's Square. [This man was an atheist.] I was standing there when there was some commotion and... I found myself face to face with Pope John Paul II. No exaggeration. The pope smiled at me and started speaking to me in Italian. My host began to translate. Hearing the English, John Paul II immediately switched languages and began asking me questions about myself. ("Why would the pope care about me? With all those Catholics standing around, too!") When the pope heard I worked in international real estate, he became very excited and said "God has heard my prayers! I am so happy to meet you. You are the one. Think of the poor. They have no homes. They need you. The need you now. I am praying for you!"
Well, what could I do after that? The pope was praying for me by name for crissakes. Told me that God had placed me there. Didn't even tell me to go to church. Guess there's more to life than making money.
A few years later my father heard that this man had been heckled at a real estate conference for giving a talk about social justice while making money. Last I heard this man still made money but he was truly happy for the first time in his life.
You are loved. You are unique in all of creation. If you knew how much you are loved you would cry for joy. You are who and where you are for a reason. Do not let others quantify you. You are without price and loved constantly without cost. You are irreplaceable. You have dignity which others cannot take from you. You are beloved of God.
If I have one prayer it is that one day you will truly believe this.
May God continue to bless you!
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
The Integrity Project - Introduction
Hello Ladies,
It’s been a while since I’ve written. Yes, I’ve been busy with “mom stuff” but I’ve also been working on giving my writing some direction. My time has not been wasted; I’ve come up with a purpose for my ramblings.
You see, the more I thought things through the more I came to realize that the challenges we face are far deeper than the day-to-day challenges of being a mother. As far as I can tell the greatest challenge is that we live in a “me” centered soulless society. We live in a society that does not value sacrifices made for others. Or perhaps you live in a society where women are expected to do nothing but give until you are a hollow shell of a human being. Either way, love, respect, and integrity are treated as finite resources which cannot nourish everybody and therefore need to be hoarded and fought for.
Some people say that religion is the answer. Obviously I agree in some part to this. But to place religion over what God is calling you to do is idolatry. Since this would be breaking the first commandment I cannot say that this is the whole answer. Let me then say that religion should be used as a form of grammar that helps you communicate with God. If you have no understanding of the grammar of your mother tongue it will be very difficult for you to communicate in your own language and impossible to learn a foreign language. Do not be afraid to respectfully question your faith. As Jesus said:
I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not now that the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have heard from my Father. You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another. (John 15:15-17 NRSV)
Friends have conversations. Friends listen to one another. Friends support each other. Jesus invited us into a relationship of dignity and strength. He calls us to be greater than what we tell ourselves we are capable of because his resources are infinite.
As I write I will be addressing the following questions. My answers will begin in the simplest terms and work their way up to a more theological and Catholic understanding. I understand that many not Catholics read this blog. I do not try to make it all things to all people, but make Catholic teaching accessible to all. It is my hope that any reader will be able to grow in faith and wisdom without feeling that my way is the only way. My way isn’t the only way. It probably isn’t the best way. (This is not only a blog but a conversation. If you have any other ideas please let me know.):
• What is prayer? How can I use this new understanding to strengthen my life? How can I approach Catholic prayers and sacraments to make them more meaningful?
• What is mysticism? Am I called to be a mystic? How can I deepen my relationship with God? How is mysticism used in the Catholic church?
• What are virtues? If they are supposed to be good then why are they often portrayed as demeaning? (Humility, obedience, etc.)
• What is conversion? How can I use this understanding in my everyday life? Do I need to give up my own dreams of work/ commercial success to be a good mother?
These are only a few topics that I have come up with. Please let me know if there are others you would like to have addressed. The underlying question is how God is calling you to live your life to the fullest, secure in love and dignity.
I look forward to sharing with you!!
Monday, November 4, 2013
Change of Name
Hello Ladies,
Earlier today I searched "Theology Mom" on the internet and found that it was being used by a Christian homeschooling mother. I honestly believe that I had the name first but hey, she's really dedicated to her calling as a Christian mom. So in order to avoid confusion I have renamed myself "Mariam Mom". I chose this name to distinguish myself from all the other "Marian moms" out there. Mariam was also my conformation name. And my husband liked it. So there you go. Hopefully this will lessen any confusion.
Blessings to all,
Mariam Mom
Earlier today I searched "Theology Mom" on the internet and found that it was being used by a Christian homeschooling mother. I honestly believe that I had the name first but hey, she's really dedicated to her calling as a Christian mom. So in order to avoid confusion I have renamed myself "Mariam Mom". I chose this name to distinguish myself from all the other "Marian moms" out there. Mariam was also my conformation name. And my husband liked it. So there you go. Hopefully this will lessen any confusion.
Blessings to all,
Mariam Mom
Monday, October 21, 2013
Litany of Forgiveness
Hello Ladies,
If you have been following my blog you have noticed that I talk a fair bit about forgiveness. It's because I'm really bad at it. Or, should I say, I'm really bad at the 'forgive and forget' attitude. I don't believe that bad things happen 'to help us grow' or because they are 'God's will'. Sometimes people decide to hurt others. Sometimes people just don't care about the consequences of their actions. Some people are, to put it politely, jerks. And in no way are some of their actions ok. Sometimes it is not a question of misunderstanding. Some actions are truly evil. God did not put them in our path. God does not condone them. We do not deserve them. But still, bad things happen to good people. Or, in my case, a mediocre person.
And yet, we are called to forgive. WHY??? It is not enough for me to hear 'forgive so you will be forgiven'. I simply don't like myself that much. There are a whole host of things I have not forgiven myself for. Nor do I believe that I should be forgiven. (No, nothing dire. Just for part of my life I was a bit of a bitch. I didn't want to be but looking back there is no other word to describe me.)
So if I'm not willing to change on my own account, why should I change at all?
Because I love Jesus. There you go - I have become a Jesus freak!
Let me explain the only way I can understand forgiveness. When Jesus was in the garden of Gethsemane, he did NOT want to suffer and die. He really struggled with this one. But listen carefully: He did NOT say that his feelings and fear did not matter. He did NOT say that he 'deserved it'. Jesus did NOT squash his feelings, pretending that they were wrong or bad. Instead, he placed them in the hands of God. Jesus accepted torture and death because he asked God if it was truly His will. I wonder how many of us do that?
When Jesus died, he forgave his attackers. He was innocent. He knew he was innocent. And yet he went to his death like a lamb going to slaughter. He forgave them because "they know not what they do". Jesus took the time to discern God's will. In so doing he discovered that it is God's will that we should be more God-like. God is forgiving. We must be forgiving.
This was a total a-ha! moment for me. Instead of believing that my feelings don't matter, that I'm some sort of cosmic punching bag existing so that others could learn their lessons, I realize that God wants me to be more like Him!! What a difference!!
Forgiveness is a process. It's not an act of will. It begins with gratitude for the mercy God has shown me. With that gratitude comes the desire to live the life God wishes for me. And believe me, God has a lot more compassion towards me than I do for myself. So I spend time with God. If a situation really brings me down then I ask God if the situation needs to change or if I need to change. Probably both. Because really, even if I behave properly, my thoughts can be rather snarky. Again, not what God wants for me.
But how can I let go? A pries, Fr. William, taught this in a homily the other week. I call it the litany of forgiveness.
Think of the person/ situation that needs healing. Include yourself.
Speak the following words:
I have wronged you.
I'm sorry.
I love you.
Please forgive me.
Now I know it's hard when a certain person has intentionally hurt you or somebody that you love. They were wrong! It's also easy for me to let my anger for another affect my relationship with God. Yet I firmly believe true forgiveness is like relinquishing a rotten apple in order to enter a feast. We are called to be more like God.
There have been times these past few weeks when I've literally stopped what I was doing, bowed my head, and recited this litany in my heart. (My husband thinks I'm slightly nuts when I do this but he's used to me being slightly nuts.) And you know what? I feel better after saying it. I feel a tiny bit of healing. The warm feeling might last only a few moments but it's a few moments without bitterness. It also keeps my anger and feelings of inadequacy from spilling over to my husband and children. Mostly though, I feel loved when I say this. Yes, loved. Because I feel like I'm participating in something beautiful and divine.
May God Continue to Bless You!!
If you have been following my blog you have noticed that I talk a fair bit about forgiveness. It's because I'm really bad at it. Or, should I say, I'm really bad at the 'forgive and forget' attitude. I don't believe that bad things happen 'to help us grow' or because they are 'God's will'. Sometimes people decide to hurt others. Sometimes people just don't care about the consequences of their actions. Some people are, to put it politely, jerks. And in no way are some of their actions ok. Sometimes it is not a question of misunderstanding. Some actions are truly evil. God did not put them in our path. God does not condone them. We do not deserve them. But still, bad things happen to good people. Or, in my case, a mediocre person.
And yet, we are called to forgive. WHY??? It is not enough for me to hear 'forgive so you will be forgiven'. I simply don't like myself that much. There are a whole host of things I have not forgiven myself for. Nor do I believe that I should be forgiven. (No, nothing dire. Just for part of my life I was a bit of a bitch. I didn't want to be but looking back there is no other word to describe me.)
So if I'm not willing to change on my own account, why should I change at all?
Because I love Jesus. There you go - I have become a Jesus freak!
Let me explain the only way I can understand forgiveness. When Jesus was in the garden of Gethsemane, he did NOT want to suffer and die. He really struggled with this one. But listen carefully: He did NOT say that his feelings and fear did not matter. He did NOT say that he 'deserved it'. Jesus did NOT squash his feelings, pretending that they were wrong or bad. Instead, he placed them in the hands of God. Jesus accepted torture and death because he asked God if it was truly His will. I wonder how many of us do that?
When Jesus died, he forgave his attackers. He was innocent. He knew he was innocent. And yet he went to his death like a lamb going to slaughter. He forgave them because "they know not what they do". Jesus took the time to discern God's will. In so doing he discovered that it is God's will that we should be more God-like. God is forgiving. We must be forgiving.
This was a total a-ha! moment for me. Instead of believing that my feelings don't matter, that I'm some sort of cosmic punching bag existing so that others could learn their lessons, I realize that God wants me to be more like Him!! What a difference!!
Forgiveness is a process. It's not an act of will. It begins with gratitude for the mercy God has shown me. With that gratitude comes the desire to live the life God wishes for me. And believe me, God has a lot more compassion towards me than I do for myself. So I spend time with God. If a situation really brings me down then I ask God if the situation needs to change or if I need to change. Probably both. Because really, even if I behave properly, my thoughts can be rather snarky. Again, not what God wants for me.
But how can I let go? A pries, Fr. William, taught this in a homily the other week. I call it the litany of forgiveness.
Think of the person/ situation that needs healing. Include yourself.
Speak the following words:
I have wronged you.
I'm sorry.
I love you.
Please forgive me.
Now I know it's hard when a certain person has intentionally hurt you or somebody that you love. They were wrong! It's also easy for me to let my anger for another affect my relationship with God. Yet I firmly believe true forgiveness is like relinquishing a rotten apple in order to enter a feast. We are called to be more like God.
There have been times these past few weeks when I've literally stopped what I was doing, bowed my head, and recited this litany in my heart. (My husband thinks I'm slightly nuts when I do this but he's used to me being slightly nuts.) And you know what? I feel better after saying it. I feel a tiny bit of healing. The warm feeling might last only a few moments but it's a few moments without bitterness. It also keeps my anger and feelings of inadequacy from spilling over to my husband and children. Mostly though, I feel loved when I say this. Yes, loved. Because I feel like I'm participating in something beautiful and divine.
May God Continue to Bless You!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)