Hello Ladies,
Today I have learned a very important lesson: Sometimes things just suck. There is no other way of describing it. Sometimes you cannot plaster a manic smile on your face and pretend that things are 'just fine' because you have faith in God. Sometimes bad things happen that you did not bring on yourself and that you can do nothing to change.
As a child, my father would often tell me to "offer it up". Um, what? Excuse me? What on earth does that mean? I could never figure it out and my dad could never explain. To me, it sounded too much like saying things were ok when they weren't. Or having to suffer with things that should be dealt with.
Today I finally figured out what my dad has been trying to teach me all these years.
This morning I received a dreaded text: Dad fell. He's going to the ER and either everything will be fine (meaning he miraculously broke nothing) or, more likely, something is broken and because of his age and health there will be nothing they can do. We have known for years that he would not be able to survive another (yes, another) serious fall. What to do?
What I wanted to do was panic (which I probably did). I wanted to rush to the ER just in case. But it just wasn't feasible to rush to the hospital with three young children in tow. (My son has a fever, no less.) So I prayed. I prayed for my dad's safety. I dared pray for the miracle that my dad managed to be unharmed. And I prayed that God lead me to where He needed me.
I offered up my desires and fears. I told God that I would do what He wanted if He took care of the things that I could not handle.
Because, Ladies, as mothers, our lives are no longer our own. And sometimes we need a little extra help and wisdom to do the task in front of us with great love.
So I stayed home. I tended my sick child with great love. I put the baby down for a nap with great love. And I waited for my brother to call me from the hospital. And I prayed that God give me strength to face what was happening. Through prayer, I did not resent the mundane tasks set for me. Through prayer, I trusted God in His wisdom.
I offered it up. And I did not suppress my feeling and pretend that they were wrong or did not exist.
I offered it up. And I was not powerless.
I offered it up. And I found the peace that only God can give.
And my prayers were answered. Somehow, though my father is old and feeble, he did not break. The doctors were amazed. They used words like 'lucky' and 'amazed' several times. They shook their heads and smiled. I was able to see my dad at home this evening and not in the hospital. There is relief and joy in our family.
More than anything I am grateful that I can tell my dad that I finally understand what he's been talking about all these years. Would you believe that I was so happy to see him that I forgot to mention it?
May your day be as blessed as mine has been.
Friday, July 26, 2013
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Unity in Wine, Bread, and feasts! Hooray!
Hello Ladies,
Today I would like to talk to you about many things. I would like to talk about heaven, salvation, hope, connection, faith, Jesus, loneliness, communication, and freedom. This will take us through history, misunderstandings, theology, and finally understanding and transcendence.
Several years ago I was in church. My grandmother had recently died and to say that I miss her would be an understatement of epic proportion. She had been a guide to Christian life and a source of wisdom and consolation during my turbulent upbringing. When she spoke about love, forgiveness, Jesus, and the strength needed to be a woman, I listened. For my Protestant grandmother, heaven meant being in a garden with Jesus. Just Jesus, I asked? Her preacher said so, but she could not imagine heaven without being with her own mother and other 'kin'. Even so, she was sure that Jesus would provide for her whatever she needed. She was a strong woman who changed the world around her. Her obituary read like a textbook for feminism and social activism. Did she ever use those words to describe herself? No. She was quiet and gracious. She listened to Jesus, who was her strength, and trusted in Him. In doing so she was the scandal of her church (she went back to work when her children were in school to pay the bills and eventually divorced her husband). But she never gave up on her faith or her church. She just quietly changed the world.
That particular mass, I was incredibly sorrowful. I was happy for my grandmother, who had 'run the good race' and was now at peace. But my loneliness was like an aching hunger that would never be sated. She was gone, gone. I could only pretend that there was no hollowness inside and get used to being without her. Before I knew it the Eucharistic prayer started. It was then that it happened: The day seemed to brighten and light began to be born in my hollowness. I suddenly realized that she was there at the Mass. For a few moments time didn't matter. I was in communion with countless others throughout time who had spoken the same prayers in a variety of languages. I was with my Protestant grandmother, who was in heaven. I was with those who would come long after I had returned to dust.
Sanctus, Sanctus, Sanctus Dominus Deus Sabaoth.
Pleni sunt caeli et terra gloria tua.
Hosana in excelsis.
Benedictus qui venit in nomine Domine.
Hosana in excelsis.
Holy, Holy, Holy Lord God of hosts.
Heaven and earth are full of your glory.
Hosana in the highest.
Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.
Hosana in the highest.
Soon after I became warm and had to sit down. The 'vision' lasted while the host was present.
I kept quiet about it for a while, thinking that I was studying too much theology and needed to take a break. My professors, knowing of my great loss, were concerned and compassionate. One pulled me aside and asked how I was doing. Not taking 'fine' for an answer I finally revealed my 'vision'. Her response floored me.
When we take part in the Eucharist, we take part in the Kingdom of God.
You would think, being a theology major, that I would know this. But I was a budding academic who could cooly remain aloof from such fantastical notions as being affected by my subject material. (Okay, you can stop laughing now.) Suddenly my world shifted. Going to church was no longer a pleasant duty but an ardent desire to get closer to Jesus. The Eucharist was no longer just a ritual but an invitation to be transformed by a foretaste of heaven. It became obvious why Catholics and our Orthodox sisters and brothers would place the Eucharist at the center of faith.
In the Gospel of John, Jesus says that whoever does not eat of His flesh and drink of His blood will not have life in him. This was so scandalous to his followers that many of them left. The synoptic Gospels, Matthew, Mark, and Luke, record the Last Supper word for word. The host and chalice were common drawings in the catacombs. When the early Christians were thrown to the lions one of the major charges against them was cannibalism. And yet they were willing to die joyfully for their beliefs.
Not only was the Eucharist, as we understand it today, a fundamental part of Christianity, but so was the Mass. Yes, the Mass. Complete with procession of the Word, opening prayers, readings from the prophets and the apostles, a reading about the works and words of Jesus, prayers of intercession, and the Eucharistic prayer - handed down word for word. (For more information read The Mass of the Early Christians by Mike Aquilina. It references all of the bible verses, church fathers, and historical documents. Or you can look it up online. I'm not just making this stuff up.)
Now the most incredible thing isn't that it's been passed down for 2000 years in essentially the same, recognizable format. The incredible thing is the we take it for granted. Something that people died for is now a ritual or some sort of dirty secret. "Yes, I go to church because that is what I do. But I don't worship the bread or anything." Ever hear anything like that? But I had a similar attitude. I was shocked to find Jesus in church because these things don't happen these days.
Maybe we just set low standards for ourselves. Maybe we don't think God really loves us. Maybe we think that mystical encounters happen only to saints.
Let me tell you a secret: Saints are not those who are the best. Saints are those who know that they are entirely reliant on God. There is no schizophrenic divorce between church and the "real world". God cannot be removed from the saint because God is the saint's heartbeat.
Do you believe that Jesus left us a way to ingest His substance in simple bread and wine? Those who knew Him on earth certainly believed it. Do you feel you are taking the Eucharist for granted? Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you. Go to Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament and sit quietly for a while. Go to mass and wonder how many people have uttered the same prayers in hope and faith.
I have just touched the tip of the iceberg in my own journey and I have been transformed. Have you?
May God Continue to Bless You!
Today I would like to talk to you about many things. I would like to talk about heaven, salvation, hope, connection, faith, Jesus, loneliness, communication, and freedom. This will take us through history, misunderstandings, theology, and finally understanding and transcendence.
Several years ago I was in church. My grandmother had recently died and to say that I miss her would be an understatement of epic proportion. She had been a guide to Christian life and a source of wisdom and consolation during my turbulent upbringing. When she spoke about love, forgiveness, Jesus, and the strength needed to be a woman, I listened. For my Protestant grandmother, heaven meant being in a garden with Jesus. Just Jesus, I asked? Her preacher said so, but she could not imagine heaven without being with her own mother and other 'kin'. Even so, she was sure that Jesus would provide for her whatever she needed. She was a strong woman who changed the world around her. Her obituary read like a textbook for feminism and social activism. Did she ever use those words to describe herself? No. She was quiet and gracious. She listened to Jesus, who was her strength, and trusted in Him. In doing so she was the scandal of her church (she went back to work when her children were in school to pay the bills and eventually divorced her husband). But she never gave up on her faith or her church. She just quietly changed the world.
That particular mass, I was incredibly sorrowful. I was happy for my grandmother, who had 'run the good race' and was now at peace. But my loneliness was like an aching hunger that would never be sated. She was gone, gone. I could only pretend that there was no hollowness inside and get used to being without her. Before I knew it the Eucharistic prayer started. It was then that it happened: The day seemed to brighten and light began to be born in my hollowness. I suddenly realized that she was there at the Mass. For a few moments time didn't matter. I was in communion with countless others throughout time who had spoken the same prayers in a variety of languages. I was with my Protestant grandmother, who was in heaven. I was with those who would come long after I had returned to dust.
Sanctus, Sanctus, Sanctus Dominus Deus Sabaoth.
Pleni sunt caeli et terra gloria tua.
Hosana in excelsis.
Benedictus qui venit in nomine Domine.
Hosana in excelsis.
Holy, Holy, Holy Lord God of hosts.
Heaven and earth are full of your glory.
Hosana in the highest.
Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.
Hosana in the highest.
Soon after I became warm and had to sit down. The 'vision' lasted while the host was present.
I kept quiet about it for a while, thinking that I was studying too much theology and needed to take a break. My professors, knowing of my great loss, were concerned and compassionate. One pulled me aside and asked how I was doing. Not taking 'fine' for an answer I finally revealed my 'vision'. Her response floored me.
When we take part in the Eucharist, we take part in the Kingdom of God.
You would think, being a theology major, that I would know this. But I was a budding academic who could cooly remain aloof from such fantastical notions as being affected by my subject material. (Okay, you can stop laughing now.) Suddenly my world shifted. Going to church was no longer a pleasant duty but an ardent desire to get closer to Jesus. The Eucharist was no longer just a ritual but an invitation to be transformed by a foretaste of heaven. It became obvious why Catholics and our Orthodox sisters and brothers would place the Eucharist at the center of faith.
In the Gospel of John, Jesus says that whoever does not eat of His flesh and drink of His blood will not have life in him. This was so scandalous to his followers that many of them left. The synoptic Gospels, Matthew, Mark, and Luke, record the Last Supper word for word. The host and chalice were common drawings in the catacombs. When the early Christians were thrown to the lions one of the major charges against them was cannibalism. And yet they were willing to die joyfully for their beliefs.
Not only was the Eucharist, as we understand it today, a fundamental part of Christianity, but so was the Mass. Yes, the Mass. Complete with procession of the Word, opening prayers, readings from the prophets and the apostles, a reading about the works and words of Jesus, prayers of intercession, and the Eucharistic prayer - handed down word for word. (For more information read The Mass of the Early Christians by Mike Aquilina. It references all of the bible verses, church fathers, and historical documents. Or you can look it up online. I'm not just making this stuff up.)
Now the most incredible thing isn't that it's been passed down for 2000 years in essentially the same, recognizable format. The incredible thing is the we take it for granted. Something that people died for is now a ritual or some sort of dirty secret. "Yes, I go to church because that is what I do. But I don't worship the bread or anything." Ever hear anything like that? But I had a similar attitude. I was shocked to find Jesus in church because these things don't happen these days.
Maybe we just set low standards for ourselves. Maybe we don't think God really loves us. Maybe we think that mystical encounters happen only to saints.
Let me tell you a secret: Saints are not those who are the best. Saints are those who know that they are entirely reliant on God. There is no schizophrenic divorce between church and the "real world". God cannot be removed from the saint because God is the saint's heartbeat.
Do you believe that Jesus left us a way to ingest His substance in simple bread and wine? Those who knew Him on earth certainly believed it. Do you feel you are taking the Eucharist for granted? Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you. Go to Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament and sit quietly for a while. Go to mass and wonder how many people have uttered the same prayers in hope and faith.
I have just touched the tip of the iceberg in my own journey and I have been transformed. Have you?
May God Continue to Bless You!
Monday, May 20, 2013
Life Bearers
Hello Ladies,
I have been reading a lot of Mother Teresa's writings lately. I love how she does not aspire to greatness but endeavors to bring God into the most menial of tasks. Her spirituality is built on suffering: suffering for Christ who suffers on the cross for love of us. She herself suffered immensely in her calling. How did she manage during her dark times? The most obvious answer is that she turned to Jesus, her spouse. And she did. She also had years of training in obedience, theology, spiritual direction, devotion to Mary and the sacraments, and had incredible support from her bishop and the community. In short, she relied on the Body of Christ and not solely on her own power. Obviously we Marian moms rarely have the opportunity to go to daily mass, Eucharistic adoration, and an annual month-long retreat. Yet we are also called to bring God into the most menial of tasks.
One thing I do not recommend is focusing on the suffering aspect of Christ. Or, place the suffering Christ in the correct perspective to our calling. Remember that these remarkable Sisters or Charity go through years of formation and a great deal of training in order to embrace their suffering spouse in a healthy, balanced way.
It has occurred to me that there is no functional spirituality specifically for mothers. Or perhaps I should say that there probably is, or has been, but has since been lost. I once asked an elder of my family how she managed to raise six children in an impeccably clean house. (I'm only half joking when I say that her floors are cleaner than my dishes.) She told me two things: that children were allowed to roam outside on their own in those days and that women were trained from a young age to be wives and mothers. She had a longer stay in the hospital after each birth and she certainly wasn't expected to cook or clean for several weeks after the birth of a child. She lived in a community that valued her children and her hard work. She didn't believe that she would be able to manage the same thing now that children had to be constantly supervised and mothers, working outside the home or not, are, in her opinion, isolated. In her words, motherhood, nay, parenthood, is no longer valued. (Obviously not everybody feels this way. There have also been some amazing changes. She was just very secure in her role and would feel very insecure in the shifting society. In short, she did not need a special spirituality for mothers because they were living it in community. She had a hard time understanding my question.)
The point isn't to make martyrs of mothers and fathers but to point out that there has been a fundamental shift in society. Everybody is trying to catch up. I'm not saying anything new in my theology. It's probably been said before in a much better way. But nobody has bothered to tell me what it is so I'm searching for it on my own. This is where my meandering thoughts have brought me (unsystematically, of course):
I have been reading a lot of Mother Teresa's writings lately. I love how she does not aspire to greatness but endeavors to bring God into the most menial of tasks. Her spirituality is built on suffering: suffering for Christ who suffers on the cross for love of us. She herself suffered immensely in her calling. How did she manage during her dark times? The most obvious answer is that she turned to Jesus, her spouse. And she did. She also had years of training in obedience, theology, spiritual direction, devotion to Mary and the sacraments, and had incredible support from her bishop and the community. In short, she relied on the Body of Christ and not solely on her own power. Obviously we Marian moms rarely have the opportunity to go to daily mass, Eucharistic adoration, and an annual month-long retreat. Yet we are also called to bring God into the most menial of tasks.
One thing I do not recommend is focusing on the suffering aspect of Christ. Or, place the suffering Christ in the correct perspective to our calling. Remember that these remarkable Sisters or Charity go through years of formation and a great deal of training in order to embrace their suffering spouse in a healthy, balanced way.
It has occurred to me that there is no functional spirituality specifically for mothers. Or perhaps I should say that there probably is, or has been, but has since been lost. I once asked an elder of my family how she managed to raise six children in an impeccably clean house. (I'm only half joking when I say that her floors are cleaner than my dishes.) She told me two things: that children were allowed to roam outside on their own in those days and that women were trained from a young age to be wives and mothers. She had a longer stay in the hospital after each birth and she certainly wasn't expected to cook or clean for several weeks after the birth of a child. She lived in a community that valued her children and her hard work. She didn't believe that she would be able to manage the same thing now that children had to be constantly supervised and mothers, working outside the home or not, are, in her opinion, isolated. In her words, motherhood, nay, parenthood, is no longer valued. (Obviously not everybody feels this way. There have also been some amazing changes. She was just very secure in her role and would feel very insecure in the shifting society. In short, she did not need a special spirituality for mothers because they were living it in community. She had a hard time understanding my question.)
The point isn't to make martyrs of mothers and fathers but to point out that there has been a fundamental shift in society. Everybody is trying to catch up. I'm not saying anything new in my theology. It's probably been said before in a much better way. But nobody has bothered to tell me what it is so I'm searching for it on my own. This is where my meandering thoughts have brought me (unsystematically, of course):
- Whenever we get lost or don't know how to pray, ask the Holy Spirit to pray through you.
- Mary was a life bearer. Jesus was conceived through the power of the Holy Spirit. (Medieval art depicts the Holy Spirit entering through her ear. This was very big for them. I'm suggesting that you breathe in the Holy Spirit and pray that you may bring life into every situation. This is a good way of praying because everybody likes to breathe, it's practically addictive, and it's highly unlikely that you will get pregnant by doing so.)
- As Mother Teresa said, we were born to love and be loved. Why were we born so small and helpless? To learn how to be loved so we can teach others how to be loved. Even Jesus was born a helpless baby. This means that we need to let go of our fears and feeling of inadequacy so that the Holy Spirit has room flow through us (kenosis!). In short, we need to fully accept that we are wholly, passionately, and uniquely loved by God. The rest will follow.
God does not expect us to be perfect. He only asks that we do what is in front of us with great love. This takes practice. Mother Teresa was called to love the Suffering Spouse. I believe that we are called to allow the love of God, the basis of all creation, to move through us. I believe that breathing in the Holy Spirit is an excellent form of prayer to allow us to do so. I believe that by doing this, we will be able to accept God into the most mundane, unpleasant moments of our unique, busy lives. I believe that we must get rid of our own self-depricating, angry thoughts, that we must allow ourselves to be loved by God, in order for this to work. And I believe that Jesus continues to suffer out of longing for each and every one of us. But I'll let Mother Teresa tell you about that.
May God continue to bless you.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Hello Ladies,
Normally my posts are theologically based. After all, theology is the point of the blog. More specifically, theology that might be useful in orienting a mother of small children toward God. In this way, the mother can better bear the responsibility of raising her children.
I have noticed from some of the more private correspondences about the blog that some mothers believe that this (hopefully beautiful) theology makes me some sort of super mom. I am not being humble when I say: Ha! Hahahahahahahaha!!
You might wonder why I don't talk about myself very much. One of the reasons is that I want the theology to shine through, not me. Another reason is that I want each woman to read this and find her own way to God. My path, more or less, is the path of Everywoman. We are all on a journey to find our True Love, only to find that He has been with us all the while.
Most importantly is that I DON'T have all the answers. For example, do NOT ask me about:
weaning
potty training
three year olds who decide rules do NOT apply to them (see potty training)
nap times
getting children to eat fruits and veggies
whining
getting children to behave during mass
getting sleep (I rely on coffee)
I have been informed by my children that I am a "meaner" and that a certain kindergarten teacher is better than me.
So you see, I am very far from being a perfect mom. I have given up on perfection. On my good days I think I'm raising future priests and social advocates. Today I think I'm raising future felons and politicians. Or worse. And yes, if you were at the Good Friday service, that was me carrying a baby and leading a wise young boy out while being trailed by a little girl, (who had been hitting her brother prior to making a break for the altar), who was screaming "Mommy! You can't leave me!! I wan't to stay at church!! MOMMMMYYYY!" Yup.
All that beautiful theology? Some days it's all that keeps me from eating my young.
Don't feel bad if you have a bad day. Or week. Ask Mary to guide you to Jesus. After all, she is the mother of all Christians. How about that for a job. No wonder she asked Jesus to make wine at the Wedding of Cana. She probably needed it!
May God continue to bless you!
Normally my posts are theologically based. After all, theology is the point of the blog. More specifically, theology that might be useful in orienting a mother of small children toward God. In this way, the mother can better bear the responsibility of raising her children.
I have noticed from some of the more private correspondences about the blog that some mothers believe that this (hopefully beautiful) theology makes me some sort of super mom. I am not being humble when I say: Ha! Hahahahahahahaha!!
You might wonder why I don't talk about myself very much. One of the reasons is that I want the theology to shine through, not me. Another reason is that I want each woman to read this and find her own way to God. My path, more or less, is the path of Everywoman. We are all on a journey to find our True Love, only to find that He has been with us all the while.
Most importantly is that I DON'T have all the answers. For example, do NOT ask me about:
weaning
potty training
three year olds who decide rules do NOT apply to them (see potty training)
nap times
getting children to eat fruits and veggies
whining
getting children to behave during mass
getting sleep (I rely on coffee)
I have been informed by my children that I am a "meaner" and that a certain kindergarten teacher is better than me.
So you see, I am very far from being a perfect mom. I have given up on perfection. On my good days I think I'm raising future priests and social advocates. Today I think I'm raising future felons and politicians. Or worse. And yes, if you were at the Good Friday service, that was me carrying a baby and leading a wise young boy out while being trailed by a little girl, (who had been hitting her brother prior to making a break for the altar), who was screaming "Mommy! You can't leave me!! I wan't to stay at church!! MOMMMMYYYY!" Yup.
All that beautiful theology? Some days it's all that keeps me from eating my young.
Don't feel bad if you have a bad day. Or week. Ask Mary to guide you to Jesus. After all, she is the mother of all Christians. How about that for a job. No wonder she asked Jesus to make wine at the Wedding of Cana. She probably needed it!
May God continue to bless you!
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
A Change of Perspective
Backstory:
A while ago a woman contacted me about the imagery I used in my post entitled Path to Humility - In God's Arms. She raised some very valid concerns that I thought others might share. I have her permission to address her concerns publicly in the blog while respecting her privacy.
Hello Ladies,
Lately I have received a message from a woman who is having a hard time visualizing herself being a child in the arms of a loving God. Why? In her case, and not to get too personal, her mother was not a safe, nurturing person. In her message this woman admitted that for years she has been trying to work through her past. What to do?
I appreciate her struggle and her honesty. After all, parents are the first example of God in a child's life. If a parent is abusive, absent, misguided or otherwise unloving, this will mark the child forever. It is likely that the child will perceive the world as a cruel place and behave accordingly. Even when the child grows into adulthood and wishes to believe in a loving world, there can still be the sense inadequacy, a knowledge of love withheld. It takes nothing less than a leap of blind faith to try to believe that one is lovable and cherished. (Yes, I'm speaking from experience here.) Then there is the added burden of 'healing' from such an upbringing. Let me qualify this statement: getting to a point where you can live as if the hurt never happened. Forgive and forget.
There are many pro-active steps we can make on the path to healing. Psychiatry is a wonderful thing. Sometimes medicine can help you regain your bearings. This can also be a good thing. (I'm adding this because I have no background in psychiatry or counseling. I'm a theologian when I'm not changing diapers. Sometimes medical expertise is the answer to your prayers.)
So back to theology, which is what I'm reasonably good at.
It would be easy, and not incorrect, to say that are many, many ways of imagining being in God's loving arms. If the image of a child peacefully sleeping in a parent's arms ins't helpful then by all means don't use it.
But this woman's e mail really struck a cord with me. Her concern wasn't about the imagery. She understood her reaction to it and why. The underlying questions were how can I heal from being misguided about love as a child. How can I heal and feel love and cared for at the most fundamental level? Why can't I rationalize or will myself out of this feeling of inadiquacy?
Ladies, these were the exact same questions I had been grappling with and pretty much for the same reasons. I don't have all the answers but I feel confident in writing a fuller response than "change the imagery".
Let me start by saying that it is not our job to heal ourselves. Yes, you heard me. We can no more heal ourselves of our spiritual wounds than we can will a broken leg to heal. The best thing we can do is get the experts to set the leg, elevate it, and take pain medication. Then sit back and let it heal. If you have pain in your leg later on in life you can reasonably say "oh, I injured it years ago. Now it aches every time it rains". But talk about emotional scars? We feel bad every time we feel a twinge. Hadn't we 'taken care' of that issue already? So why is it bothering us now?
Let's get back to that broken leg. Do you break the cast open every day to analyze the progression of healing? Do we pick at it and berate ourselves for not healing faster?
Enough with the broken leg. You see my point.
We can't heal ourselves. But we can't go around being the emotionally walking wounded. And it isn't what God wants for us, either. Being the theologian, I ask, who healed Jesus? God did. And Jesus even bore the scars of His passion and death.
Think about this for a moment. Or two.
Ladies, if there is evil in this world, it whispers that we and those around us are not worthy of love. This is the root of all of our brokenness. We are broken. We are broken through original sin. We are broken because of the sins of others. We continue to break because we do not believe we are worthy of being healed.
Now take a deep breath. God breathed life into us. Jesus breathed on people in order to heal them. If you have ever been married, you gave your spouse a kiss - the breath of life. Sometimes all you can do is breathe through the pain. Whenever we encounter discomfort, whether mental or physical, we are told to take a deep breath. Have we ever taken the opportunity to invite the Holy Spirit in as we breathe? It's not like we don't breathe, anyway. It's practically a habit.
But what do we pray for during these times of pain? Who is wise enough to know what is best to wish for? What if you're so lost and confused that you don't even know how to begin?
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.
Romans 8:26-27 NRSV
That's it, ladies. Breathe the Spirit in and then let things be.
I'm going to tell you a secret that will shock those of us with Western sensibilities: We can't do it all. Nope. We can go only so far on our own power. That's pretty insignificant before the power of God. Yet we can achieve miracles if we allow God to work through us. As we breathe the Spirit in, we are cleansed. It is not our actions which make us closer to God, but our reliance on Him.
The only way to make rapid progress along the path of divine love is to remain very little and put all our trust in Almighty God. - St. Therese of Lisieux
All I need is a quiet corner where I can talk to God each day as if there were nothing else to do. I try to make myself a tool for God. Not for myself, but only for Him. - St. Edith Stein
Ladies, if I have learned anything in my life, it is that we either have faith in God or we don't. We either believe or we don't. Most of us are standing at the edge of the pool of faith, daintily dipping our toes in to make sure the water is warm. What use is that? And what does it cost us to hold on to our insecurities and pick at our wounds? Sometimes it's just best to get out of the way and let things heal. You will be amazed. And you will also be healthier and, dare I say, joyful. This is the promise of Christ.
Just a different way for looking at things.
May God continue to bless you!
A while ago a woman contacted me about the imagery I used in my post entitled Path to Humility - In God's Arms. She raised some very valid concerns that I thought others might share. I have her permission to address her concerns publicly in the blog while respecting her privacy.
Hello Ladies,
Lately I have received a message from a woman who is having a hard time visualizing herself being a child in the arms of a loving God. Why? In her case, and not to get too personal, her mother was not a safe, nurturing person. In her message this woman admitted that for years she has been trying to work through her past. What to do?
I appreciate her struggle and her honesty. After all, parents are the first example of God in a child's life. If a parent is abusive, absent, misguided or otherwise unloving, this will mark the child forever. It is likely that the child will perceive the world as a cruel place and behave accordingly. Even when the child grows into adulthood and wishes to believe in a loving world, there can still be the sense inadequacy, a knowledge of love withheld. It takes nothing less than a leap of blind faith to try to believe that one is lovable and cherished. (Yes, I'm speaking from experience here.) Then there is the added burden of 'healing' from such an upbringing. Let me qualify this statement: getting to a point where you can live as if the hurt never happened. Forgive and forget.
There are many pro-active steps we can make on the path to healing. Psychiatry is a wonderful thing. Sometimes medicine can help you regain your bearings. This can also be a good thing. (I'm adding this because I have no background in psychiatry or counseling. I'm a theologian when I'm not changing diapers. Sometimes medical expertise is the answer to your prayers.)
So back to theology, which is what I'm reasonably good at.
It would be easy, and not incorrect, to say that are many, many ways of imagining being in God's loving arms. If the image of a child peacefully sleeping in a parent's arms ins't helpful then by all means don't use it.
But this woman's e mail really struck a cord with me. Her concern wasn't about the imagery. She understood her reaction to it and why. The underlying questions were how can I heal from being misguided about love as a child. How can I heal and feel love and cared for at the most fundamental level? Why can't I rationalize or will myself out of this feeling of inadiquacy?
Ladies, these were the exact same questions I had been grappling with and pretty much for the same reasons. I don't have all the answers but I feel confident in writing a fuller response than "change the imagery".
Let me start by saying that it is not our job to heal ourselves. Yes, you heard me. We can no more heal ourselves of our spiritual wounds than we can will a broken leg to heal. The best thing we can do is get the experts to set the leg, elevate it, and take pain medication. Then sit back and let it heal. If you have pain in your leg later on in life you can reasonably say "oh, I injured it years ago. Now it aches every time it rains". But talk about emotional scars? We feel bad every time we feel a twinge. Hadn't we 'taken care' of that issue already? So why is it bothering us now?
Let's get back to that broken leg. Do you break the cast open every day to analyze the progression of healing? Do we pick at it and berate ourselves for not healing faster?
Enough with the broken leg. You see my point.
We can't heal ourselves. But we can't go around being the emotionally walking wounded. And it isn't what God wants for us, either. Being the theologian, I ask, who healed Jesus? God did. And Jesus even bore the scars of His passion and death.
Think about this for a moment. Or two.
Ladies, if there is evil in this world, it whispers that we and those around us are not worthy of love. This is the root of all of our brokenness. We are broken. We are broken through original sin. We are broken because of the sins of others. We continue to break because we do not believe we are worthy of being healed.
Now take a deep breath. God breathed life into us. Jesus breathed on people in order to heal them. If you have ever been married, you gave your spouse a kiss - the breath of life. Sometimes all you can do is breathe through the pain. Whenever we encounter discomfort, whether mental or physical, we are told to take a deep breath. Have we ever taken the opportunity to invite the Holy Spirit in as we breathe? It's not like we don't breathe, anyway. It's practically a habit.
But what do we pray for during these times of pain? Who is wise enough to know what is best to wish for? What if you're so lost and confused that you don't even know how to begin?
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.
Romans 8:26-27 NRSV
That's it, ladies. Breathe the Spirit in and then let things be.
I'm going to tell you a secret that will shock those of us with Western sensibilities: We can't do it all. Nope. We can go only so far on our own power. That's pretty insignificant before the power of God. Yet we can achieve miracles if we allow God to work through us. As we breathe the Spirit in, we are cleansed. It is not our actions which make us closer to God, but our reliance on Him.
The only way to make rapid progress along the path of divine love is to remain very little and put all our trust in Almighty God. - St. Therese of Lisieux
All I need is a quiet corner where I can talk to God each day as if there were nothing else to do. I try to make myself a tool for God. Not for myself, but only for Him. - St. Edith Stein
Ladies, if I have learned anything in my life, it is that we either have faith in God or we don't. We either believe or we don't. Most of us are standing at the edge of the pool of faith, daintily dipping our toes in to make sure the water is warm. What use is that? And what does it cost us to hold on to our insecurities and pick at our wounds? Sometimes it's just best to get out of the way and let things heal. You will be amazed. And you will also be healthier and, dare I say, joyful. This is the promise of Christ.
Just a different way for looking at things.
May God continue to bless you!
Friday, March 29, 2013
Psalm 22 - NRSV
Hello Ladies,
We have all heard that Jesus called out "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" upon his death. (Mark 15:34; Matthew 27:46). Have you ever wondered why? Jesus was saying the first line of what is now referred to as psalm 22. All the Jews would have known exactly what he was meant when he said the first line. Perhaps reading the psalm in its entirety will give some food for thought this Good Friday.
Psalm 22
1My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from helping me, from the words of my groaning?
2O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer; and by night, but find no rest.
3Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel.
4In you our ancestors trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them.
5To you they cried, and were saved; in you they trusted, and were not put to shame.
6But I am a worm, and not human; scorned by others, and despised by the people.
7All who see me mock at me; they make mouths at me, they shake their heads;
8“Commit your cause to the Lord; let him deliver— let him rescue the one in whom he delights!”
9Yet it was you who took me from the womb; you kept me safe on my mother’s breast.
10On you I was cast from my birth, and since my mother bore me you have been my God.
11Do not be far from me, for trouble is near and there is no one to help.
12Many bulls encircle me, strong bulls of Bashan surround me;
13they open wide their mouths at me, like a ravening and roaring lion.
14I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint; my heart is like wax; it is melted within my breast;
15my mouth is dried up like a potsherd, and my tongue sticks to my jaws; you lay me in the dust of death.
16For dogs are all around me; a company of evildoers encircles me. My hands and feet have shriveled;
17I can count all my bones. They stare and gloat over me;
18they divide my clothes among themselves, and for my clothing they cast lots.
19But you, O Lord, do not be far away! O my help, come quickly to my aid!
20Deliver my soul from the sword, my life from the power of the dog!
21Save me from the mouth of the lion! From the horns of the wild oxen you have rescued me.
22I will tell of your name to my brothers and sisters; in the midst of the congregation I will praise you:
23You who fear the Lord, praise him! All you offspring of Jacob, glorify him; stand in awe of him, all you offspring of Israel!
24For he did not despise or abhor the affliction of the afflicted; he did not hide his face from me, but heard when I cried to him.
25From you comes my praise in the great congregation; my vows I will pay before those who fear him.
26The poor shall eat and be satisfied; those who seek him shall praise the Lord. May your hearts live forever!
27All the ends of the earth shall remember and turn to the Lord; and all the families of the nations shall worship before him.
28For dominion belongs to the Lord, and he rules over the nations.
29To him, indeed, shall all who sleep in the earth bow down; before him shall bow all who go down to the dust, and I shall live for him.
30Posterity will serve him; future generations will be told about the Lord,
31and proclaim his deliverance to a people yet unborn, saying that he has done it.
Have a Blessed Good Friday
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Redemptive Suffering: Part II
Hello Ladies,
In my earlier post entitled Redemptive Suffering, I explained how suffering can be used to the greater glory of God and for our own healing. If you have not read the earlier post or if I did not make myself clear, know that I do not endorse suffering for the sake of suffering. I do not believe that a woman's role is to be subservient, meek, or silent. Having said this I must point out that God does meet us in our suffering and speaks to us in the silence. This is not a contradiction because we are God's beloved children. In the silence, He will tell us when to speak softly or with loud voices. In the stillness, He will tell us when to be bold.
In a moment I am going to give a beautiful quote from Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta about the virtue of silence. Why would I place silence in the same post as suffering? One reason is because women, even now, are told that they should suffer in silence. Why? So that their suffering can be ignored by those who wish to perpetuate their inequality. Obviously this is not what Mother Teresa is saying. Mother Teresa changed the world by silently suffering for God! Nobody forced her to do this: not her confessors, not her spiritual directors, not her bishop. She did this because Jesus was calling her and she responded out of love for Him.
I think it is very important: that union with God. You must be full of silence, for in the silence of the heart God speaks. An empty heart God fills. Even Almighty God will not fill a heart that is full-full of pride, bitterness, jealousy-we must give these things up. As long as we are holding these things, God cannot fill it. Silence of the heart, not only of the mouth-that too is necessary-but more, that silence of the mind, silence of the eyes, silence of the touch. Then you can hear Him everywhere: in the closing of the door, in the person who needs you, in the birds that sing, in the flowers, the animals-that silence which is wonder and praise. Why? Because God is everywhere and you can see and hear Him. That crow is praising God-I can hear its sound well-that stupid crow; we can see Him and hear Him in that crow and pray, but we cannot see and hear Him if our heart is not clean. (Where There Is Love There Is God, p. 12.)
Mother Teresa also had a great devotion to Our Lady. This is an enormous help to me because, being the academic that I am, I appreciate it when somebody else does all the hard work for me.
We must pray, we must really bring Our Lady into our life fully because she was the one who taught us how to find Jesus. And how did she find Jesus? By just being the handmaid of the Lord. She was surprised when she was called "full of grace." She didn't understand, but she understood beautifully when she said, "I am the handmaid of the Lord," and she remained like that. She could have gone round [talking], but she did not even tell St. Joseph. Poor St. Joseph did not know till the end. She could't say anything-the handmaid, that silence. Because God speaks in the silence of our hearts. And Our Lady knew that silence and because she knew that silence, she was able to love from the fullness of her heart, and this is what the young people want to see-that silence. Silence is a sign of our oneness with Christ, of our surrender to Him, of our being His totally, and for vocations to grow, we have to teach them that silence. Because...we need that silence to learn to pray...the young people want to learn to pray. Not in noise but they want to pray in the silence of their hearts, to teach them to hear that voice, to hear God in their hearts. And so they want to see what is our silence. They have to learn this silence from seeing us, from being with us and as we know, silence cannot be corrected also. It is so beautiful. I am seeing these young people during our adoration-we have adoration every day for one hour. I've seen these people, these young sisters, these young "come and sees" completely, really one with Jesus...because their hearts have understood "you are precious to Me, you are Mine." (Where There Is Love There Is God, p. 13-14.)
Have you noticed how loud our society is? My mother, God bless her soul, used say that if she didn't make a big deal about something then nobody would know that it was important. Unfortunately, everything became a big deal so her real needs became lost in the noise. Jesus was trying to heal her but she couldn't hear Him. Silence for women has become synonymous with victimhood. But do we listen to those who need us? Do we listen to God within us?
It is easy to brush off the saints. After all, they were saints so they had an 'in' with God. And even if they did struggle, they were religious so their entire lives could be devoted to God. We mothers of young children, on the other hand, do not get silence. We do not get sleep. We do not even get to go to the bathroom by ourselves! What we get are cries that must be answered immediately. We get dirty diapers and dirty kitchens. And we are supposed to find a quiet place with God? And suffer silently, don't we already do that? We could scream our pain at the top of our lungs and it would fall on deaf ears.
Well, Ladies, fear not! I am going to give you some brief prayers that will help you keep your heart untroubled so that God may always enter. And yes, I have tried them. And yes, it works. When things get difficult try repeating one of the following:
Holy Trinity, One God, have mercy on us.
My God and my all.
My God, I love you.
Teach me, O Lord, to do your will, for you are my God.
My Jesus, mercy.
Sacred Heart of Jesus, protect our families.
Heart of Jesus, I place my trust in you.
Jesus, I love you. Jesus, I trust you.
Holy Spirit, guide me.
I am the handmaid of the Lord.
These are just a sampling of prayers. It is hard to yell at your kids when you are praying. (I've managed once or twice but mostly it's hard.)
Yes, we suffer. But we suffer a lot less when we make calm, life-giving choices. And when we do suffer it should be because we are bringing forth life, as does God. We are God's beloved daughters, mothers to God's beloved children. God guides us through our most mundane tasks and gives them value. Let others yell and scream and demand attention like spoiled children. In the meantime we will be going about the work of changing the world. Think that such simplicity doesn't work? Look at Mother Teresa's life. She brought God to all she met. She suffered but she could see God working through her.
Let us pray for each other, that by being faithful to God, we may be faithful to ourselves.
No wonder the secular world fears silence. No wonder the secular world fears suffering. The secular world is its own god. Let us transcend it. Let us live fearlessly.
May God Continue to Bless You!
In my earlier post entitled Redemptive Suffering, I explained how suffering can be used to the greater glory of God and for our own healing. If you have not read the earlier post or if I did not make myself clear, know that I do not endorse suffering for the sake of suffering. I do not believe that a woman's role is to be subservient, meek, or silent. Having said this I must point out that God does meet us in our suffering and speaks to us in the silence. This is not a contradiction because we are God's beloved children. In the silence, He will tell us when to speak softly or with loud voices. In the stillness, He will tell us when to be bold.
In a moment I am going to give a beautiful quote from Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta about the virtue of silence. Why would I place silence in the same post as suffering? One reason is because women, even now, are told that they should suffer in silence. Why? So that their suffering can be ignored by those who wish to perpetuate their inequality. Obviously this is not what Mother Teresa is saying. Mother Teresa changed the world by silently suffering for God! Nobody forced her to do this: not her confessors, not her spiritual directors, not her bishop. She did this because Jesus was calling her and she responded out of love for Him.
I think it is very important: that union with God. You must be full of silence, for in the silence of the heart God speaks. An empty heart God fills. Even Almighty God will not fill a heart that is full-full of pride, bitterness, jealousy-we must give these things up. As long as we are holding these things, God cannot fill it. Silence of the heart, not only of the mouth-that too is necessary-but more, that silence of the mind, silence of the eyes, silence of the touch. Then you can hear Him everywhere: in the closing of the door, in the person who needs you, in the birds that sing, in the flowers, the animals-that silence which is wonder and praise. Why? Because God is everywhere and you can see and hear Him. That crow is praising God-I can hear its sound well-that stupid crow; we can see Him and hear Him in that crow and pray, but we cannot see and hear Him if our heart is not clean. (Where There Is Love There Is God, p. 12.)
Mother Teresa also had a great devotion to Our Lady. This is an enormous help to me because, being the academic that I am, I appreciate it when somebody else does all the hard work for me.
We must pray, we must really bring Our Lady into our life fully because she was the one who taught us how to find Jesus. And how did she find Jesus? By just being the handmaid of the Lord. She was surprised when she was called "full of grace." She didn't understand, but she understood beautifully when she said, "I am the handmaid of the Lord," and she remained like that. She could have gone round [talking], but she did not even tell St. Joseph. Poor St. Joseph did not know till the end. She could't say anything-the handmaid, that silence. Because God speaks in the silence of our hearts. And Our Lady knew that silence and because she knew that silence, she was able to love from the fullness of her heart, and this is what the young people want to see-that silence. Silence is a sign of our oneness with Christ, of our surrender to Him, of our being His totally, and for vocations to grow, we have to teach them that silence. Because...we need that silence to learn to pray...the young people want to learn to pray. Not in noise but they want to pray in the silence of their hearts, to teach them to hear that voice, to hear God in their hearts. And so they want to see what is our silence. They have to learn this silence from seeing us, from being with us and as we know, silence cannot be corrected also. It is so beautiful. I am seeing these young people during our adoration-we have adoration every day for one hour. I've seen these people, these young sisters, these young "come and sees" completely, really one with Jesus...because their hearts have understood "you are precious to Me, you are Mine." (Where There Is Love There Is God, p. 13-14.)
Have you noticed how loud our society is? My mother, God bless her soul, used say that if she didn't make a big deal about something then nobody would know that it was important. Unfortunately, everything became a big deal so her real needs became lost in the noise. Jesus was trying to heal her but she couldn't hear Him. Silence for women has become synonymous with victimhood. But do we listen to those who need us? Do we listen to God within us?
It is easy to brush off the saints. After all, they were saints so they had an 'in' with God. And even if they did struggle, they were religious so their entire lives could be devoted to God. We mothers of young children, on the other hand, do not get silence. We do not get sleep. We do not even get to go to the bathroom by ourselves! What we get are cries that must be answered immediately. We get dirty diapers and dirty kitchens. And we are supposed to find a quiet place with God? And suffer silently, don't we already do that? We could scream our pain at the top of our lungs and it would fall on deaf ears.
Well, Ladies, fear not! I am going to give you some brief prayers that will help you keep your heart untroubled so that God may always enter. And yes, I have tried them. And yes, it works. When things get difficult try repeating one of the following:
Holy Trinity, One God, have mercy on us.
My God and my all.
My God, I love you.
Teach me, O Lord, to do your will, for you are my God.
My Jesus, mercy.
Sacred Heart of Jesus, protect our families.
Heart of Jesus, I place my trust in you.
Jesus, I love you. Jesus, I trust you.
Holy Spirit, guide me.
I am the handmaid of the Lord.
These are just a sampling of prayers. It is hard to yell at your kids when you are praying. (I've managed once or twice but mostly it's hard.)
Yes, we suffer. But we suffer a lot less when we make calm, life-giving choices. And when we do suffer it should be because we are bringing forth life, as does God. We are God's beloved daughters, mothers to God's beloved children. God guides us through our most mundane tasks and gives them value. Let others yell and scream and demand attention like spoiled children. In the meantime we will be going about the work of changing the world. Think that such simplicity doesn't work? Look at Mother Teresa's life. She brought God to all she met. She suffered but she could see God working through her.
Let us pray for each other, that by being faithful to God, we may be faithful to ourselves.
No wonder the secular world fears silence. No wonder the secular world fears suffering. The secular world is its own god. Let us transcend it. Let us live fearlessly.
May God Continue to Bless You!
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