Today I have learned a very important lesson: Sometimes things just suck. There is no other way of describing it. Sometimes you cannot plaster a manic smile on your face and pretend that things are 'just fine' because you have faith in God. Sometimes bad things happen that you did not bring on yourself and that you can do nothing to change.
As a child, my father would often tell me to "offer it up". Um, what? Excuse me? What on earth does that mean? I could never figure it out and my dad could never explain. To me, it sounded too much like saying things were ok when they weren't. Or having to suffer with things that should be dealt with.
Today I finally figured out what my dad has been trying to teach me all these years.
This morning I received a dreaded text: Dad fell. He's going to the ER and either everything will be fine (meaning he miraculously broke nothing) or, more likely, something is broken and because of his age and health there will be nothing they can do. We have known for years that he would not be able to survive another (yes, another) serious fall. What to do?
What I wanted to do was panic (which I probably did). I wanted to rush to the ER just in case. But it just wasn't feasible to rush to the hospital with three young children in tow. (My son has a fever, no less.) So I prayed. I prayed for my dad's safety. I dared pray for the miracle that my dad managed to be unharmed. And I prayed that God lead me to where He needed me.
I offered up my desires and fears. I told God that I would do what He wanted if He took care of the things that I could not handle.
Because, Ladies, as mothers, our lives are no longer our own. And sometimes we need a little extra help and wisdom to do the task in front of us with great love.
So I stayed home. I tended my sick child with great love. I put the baby down for a nap with great love. And I waited for my brother to call me from the hospital. And I prayed that God give me strength to face what was happening. Through prayer, I did not resent the mundane tasks set for me. Through prayer, I trusted God in His wisdom.
I offered it up. And I did not suppress my feeling and pretend that they were wrong or did not exist.
I offered it up. And I was not powerless.
I offered it up. And I found the peace that only God can give.
And my prayers were answered. Somehow, though my father is old and feeble, he did not break. The doctors were amazed. They used words like 'lucky' and 'amazed' several times. They shook their heads and smiled. I was able to see my dad at home this evening and not in the hospital. There is relief and joy in our family.
More than anything I am grateful that I can tell my dad that I finally understand what he's been talking about all these years. Would you believe that I was so happy to see him that I forgot to mention it?
May your day be as blessed as mine has been.