I have been thinking lately how much we live in fear. We fear for our jobs. We fear that we will lose our homes. We fear that we will fail our children. We fear to be weak, vulnerable. We accept this fear. It can become so much a part of who we are that we no longer question it. It guides our actions and attitudes even if it destroys our relationships. It makes us feel safe.
I just spoke with a woman (who I quite like) who was afraid to have more than one child. She was regretting that her daughter grew up lonely as an only child. I went to university with somebody who was afraid to even attempt to get into graduate school. He didn't want to be rejected. (He would have been a much better scholar than me.) He now regrets his decision. A grandmother once told me that when her own children were small she wished their childhood away. She admitted that she was worried about what other people thought of her and felt like a failure. Again, great regret.
We have so many fears in our lives. They are even valid. But they cannot be allowed to define who we are.
Fear, failure, wounds - they are all a part of our story. They are not the main character. If we want to see how our story end then look at Jesus' story: redemption, transcendence, love, acceptance, forgiveness. This is the core of our being because, whether we admit it or not, Jesus is the core of our being.
Just a thought. Think about it.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
When We Give
Hello Ladies,
To say that women give too much of themselves is nothing less than cliche. It is said that women give too much whether they are mothers or not. We give too much to our boyfriends/husbands/children. We give too much to our bosses. And are we appreciated when we give so much? Are we respected for our sacrifices? Not if we give without love.
I have always stated that all our actions should come from CARITAS, love that inspires action. And it can get confusing because some of our greatest acts of caritas are when we feel worn out and we can't give any more. We all remember those newborn days when we wanted to ignore the baby's cries so that we could rest and heal. But we get up anyway. So how can we tell whether we're working from caritas? Let me quote the familiar passage of 1 Corinthians 13: 1-3
If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
How much of what we do is to conform to the expectations of others? How much of our anxiety stems from what we believe we should be doing instead of what God is asking from us? Who do we listen to? Why not listen to the One who created us simply because He wants to spend time with us? When we spend time with God we become more loving. We become as God created us to be.
Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all thing, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13: 4-6)
Isn't that more like it? If children learn from their parents then it's safe to say that this is what Our Father is trying to teach us. If we put our own goals ahead of this (keeping our house perfectly clean, our children perfectly behaved, looking perfect all the time, being the perfect employee, etc.) then we are going to be miserable.
Spend time with God. Allow His presence into all the parts of yourself that are envious, boastful, vain, and resentful. Ask Him how you can use your time, talents, and treasure more effectively. Go to work with caritas. Bathe your children with caritas. Yes, even do your hair with caritas. (No one says you can't look good.)
We women work so hard and endure so much. And many times we feel we can endure no more. But if we work with God we will worry less about the burdens others wish us to bear. If we work with God we will choose work worth doing. We will choose caritas over vanity and duty. We will be liberated. And because we are loving, we will find that we CAN bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, and yes, endure all things.
Sit Deus Nobis! (May God Be With Us!)
I have always stated that all our actions should come from CARITAS, love that inspires action. And it can get confusing because some of our greatest acts of caritas are when we feel worn out and we can't give any more. We all remember those newborn days when we wanted to ignore the baby's cries so that we could rest and heal. But we get up anyway. So how can we tell whether we're working from caritas? Let me quote the familiar passage of 1 Corinthians 13: 1-3
If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
How much of what we do is to conform to the expectations of others? How much of our anxiety stems from what we believe we should be doing instead of what God is asking from us? Who do we listen to? Why not listen to the One who created us simply because He wants to spend time with us? When we spend time with God we become more loving. We become as God created us to be.
Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all thing, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13: 4-6)
Isn't that more like it? If children learn from their parents then it's safe to say that this is what Our Father is trying to teach us. If we put our own goals ahead of this (keeping our house perfectly clean, our children perfectly behaved, looking perfect all the time, being the perfect employee, etc.) then we are going to be miserable.
Spend time with God. Allow His presence into all the parts of yourself that are envious, boastful, vain, and resentful. Ask Him how you can use your time, talents, and treasure more effectively. Go to work with caritas. Bathe your children with caritas. Yes, even do your hair with caritas. (No one says you can't look good.)
We women work so hard and endure so much. And many times we feel we can endure no more. But if we work with God we will worry less about the burdens others wish us to bear. If we work with God we will choose work worth doing. We will choose caritas over vanity and duty. We will be liberated. And because we are loving, we will find that we CAN bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, and yes, endure all things.
Sit Deus Nobis! (May God Be With Us!)
Monday, July 4, 2011
Legacy
Hello Ladies,
I am a big believer that our most defining moments are the quiet ones that go unnoticed. I also believe that these quiet, defining moments are the legacy that we will leave our children. As you might have guessed this blog is somewhat autobiographical. I don't want to be just another 'mommy blog' but I cannot help but be affected by what goes on around me.
As I have mentioned in earlier posts an elder of our family has been causing a great deal of suffering because of her addiction. Her sons don't talk to each other or to her. Her poison has spread to aunts and uncles and ever her grandchildren. If this were not bad enough, her addiction has been slowly killing her for years. At this point she literally cannot think clearly. Her body is shutting down. And her family? They are still dealing with the lies and venom that she has been spewing for years. If you were to ask her years ago if this was the legacy that she would like to leave for her children she would be horrified. Now she couldn't stop herself is she tried. And she hates herself for it. She really does.
After much prayer and reflection I think part of the problem is that, for years, she has been chasing after things that she believed that she 'deserved'. She deserved to be right, to be vindicated. She deserved to have nice things ("luxury"). She deserved that cottage by the lake. The house with the pool. And yes, even her addiction. She saw friends, family, even her own children, as things to manipulate. And? And now it is almost over for her. She has few friends and her family is justifiably afraid of her. She still has all of her possessions but they cost money and she can't care for them.
What do we think that we deserve? Ladies, if we follow what society tells us we are going to go crazy. We might not be able to go out to get our coffee a day (that's my big thing). We might not get the career we want. Or the car. We might not even get the children we want (or get them to behave as we would want). We might have to give up a lot of things that have been important to us in the past.
Does this mean that what we want doesn't matter? NO! It matters. WE matter. But it means that we must take care to want what God wants for us. Because, Ladies, God does not want us to die with self-hatred and a family that has been disintegrating for years. He also doesn't want us to stay inside all day taking care of others while giving up our hopes and dreams. We must be creative in our wants just as God is creative.
What is so wrong with being humble? These days the word 'humility' is associated with being a weak victim whose dreams are dead. In reality, humility is a strength. It allows us to give up our impulsive wants and be guided by wisdom. Think about it. God is not simply something that set up a religious construct that we must mindlessly obey. God dreamed us into being. God formed us in our mothers' wombs. God knows how many hairs are on our heads. When we die, God will call us home by name. Doesn't this sound like someone we should go to for advice? Because, Ladies, no matter how far we think we can go in life God knows that we can go further, be greater, be stronger.
If we feel that we are overwhelmed maybe it's because we are focusing on the wrong things. If we feel like failures maybe it is because we are listening to the wrong people. So often when we think we don't get what we 'deserve' it is because we are rejecting the grace of God's love.
We deserve respect as human beings, as women, as mothers, as daughters of God.
I invite you to ask yourself every evening what legacy you are leaving for your children. Some days you must stand up and fight. Some days you must let things go. We make mistakes. We learn. We move on. But we should always invite God help us along the way. We ask for forgiveness, for comfort, for strength, for wisdom. We help each other. But if we do not know our own minds then we cannot know God. And God knows our minds best of all.
Just the other day I asked the son of this bitter woman if he was going to call her on her birthday. He said no because he can't bring her any joy, anyway. And he was right. What sort of legacy is that?
May God heal this family!
What is so wrong with being humble? These days the word 'humility' is associated with being a weak victim whose dreams are dead. In reality, humility is a strength. It allows us to give up our impulsive wants and be guided by wisdom. Think about it. God is not simply something that set up a religious construct that we must mindlessly obey. God dreamed us into being. God formed us in our mothers' wombs. God knows how many hairs are on our heads. When we die, God will call us home by name. Doesn't this sound like someone we should go to for advice? Because, Ladies, no matter how far we think we can go in life God knows that we can go further, be greater, be stronger.
If we feel that we are overwhelmed maybe it's because we are focusing on the wrong things. If we feel like failures maybe it is because we are listening to the wrong people. So often when we think we don't get what we 'deserve' it is because we are rejecting the grace of God's love.
We deserve respect as human beings, as women, as mothers, as daughters of God.
I invite you to ask yourself every evening what legacy you are leaving for your children. Some days you must stand up and fight. Some days you must let things go. We make mistakes. We learn. We move on. But we should always invite God help us along the way. We ask for forgiveness, for comfort, for strength, for wisdom. We help each other. But if we do not know our own minds then we cannot know God. And God knows our minds best of all.
Just the other day I asked the son of this bitter woman if he was going to call her on her birthday. He said no because he can't bring her any joy, anyway. And he was right. What sort of legacy is that?
May God heal this family!
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
For the Good of Us Both
The Vision
Life can be really strange sometimes. As I've mentioned in earlier posts my mother died a few years ago due to addictions and self-destructive habits. I have also said that at the end of her life she wished that she had made better, more loving choices when she was younger. One of her greatest sorrows was that she didn't appreciate us kids when she had the chance. She clearly saw that she was the cause of much of our unhappiness and self-destructive behaviors. But it was too late; years of being cruel to her children had taken their toll. Her children, for the most part, would not hear her. Then, one day and quite suddenly, she died.
Fast forward a year and a half and I am a mother of an infant and am going through the normal marital problems of dealing with a growing family. I remember clearly that my son was sleeping and my husband was still at work. I was at the sink washing dishes thinking bitter thoughts when I suddenly felt my mother's arms around me. I began to cry. Then I heard her voice as clearly as she was in the room: "Don't go there! I taught you to think this way and I destroyed my marriage and my children. Please, for the good of us both, be grateful for the goodness of God and turn to Him instead." Pretty strange, huh?
Insights into the Vision Which Will Lead to the Theology of Purgatory and Redemption
I do not attempt to define my experience in the kitchen that evening but it did, in its own small way, change my life. Instead of dwelling on what my mother had done during her life I focused on what she wished for me now. (I firmly believe that at the moment of her death my mother was released from her diseased body and was finally free to love us as purely as she had always wanted to. What my mother wants for me now is to have a loving relationship with my husband and children and to work towards heaven by having God the center of my life.)
As you can imagine this takes a bit of practice. It's difficult when times are hard to become less ego-centric. Generally we are trained to ask "what's in it for me?". So I started asking different questions. One such question is: "What do I lose by being more loving to my husband when he upsets me instead of having to be right right now?" Sometimes being loving means standing up for yourself. Sometimes it means letting it go for the moment. Sometimes you realize that what upset you didn't really matter that much. But it never means being nasty or spiteful. Ever. It's taken a while but this has worked really well for us. My husband and children know that now matter how angry I get that I am willing to work through things. It gives them a sense of peace and protection. Allowing love to enter into a situation is allowing God into a situation. Miracles do happen.
Now let me go back to what my mother said about being more loving "for the good of us both". I have been thinking about this statement for years. This statement only makes sense if, through the will of God, we are still in a relationship that death could not overcome. I believe that the love we have for one another still binds us and gives us strength for our journeys. It means that somehow we need each other for our mutual salvation. Catholics believe that souls in purgatory cannot pray for themselves and rely on the living to aid them with prayers, masses said for them, acts of charity, and mortifications. Many souls in purgatory (though not all) can and do pray for the living. Thus my belief that my prayers for my mother have aided her through purgatory and her prayers for me have allowed her to intercede for me at a critical moment in my life is theologically correct.
If there is a main focus to my theology as a mother it is to allow God to enter into your life wherever you and and to have CARITAS, the love of God that is the inspiration of all charitable thoughts and actions, to be the center of your life. This is because as moms we are called to the daunting task of caring for God's precious, helpless souls. We might not, due to our unique circumstances, be able to carry out our Catholic obligations in the traditional way. This does not excuse us from our obligations but instead invites us to do so creatively.
I have had masses said for my mother. I pray for her. I light votives (candles) for her at church and when I'm visiting holy shrines. When I get the time I say rosaries for her. I do not fast because I believe that while I have young children my body isn't my own and needs care so that I can care for them. I do abstain from meat on Fridays though. But upon reflection I have given up my "right" to bitterness and "being right". Out of love for my mother I have taken her advice and trusted God more. I have become more grateful. I believe that by actively shedding the bad habits my mother taught me that I have advanced out mutual salvation. I have become less of a victim of my childhood and am being transformed into the woman God wants me to be.
I love you, mom. Ora pro me. (Pray for me.)
Life can be really strange sometimes. As I've mentioned in earlier posts my mother died a few years ago due to addictions and self-destructive habits. I have also said that at the end of her life she wished that she had made better, more loving choices when she was younger. One of her greatest sorrows was that she didn't appreciate us kids when she had the chance. She clearly saw that she was the cause of much of our unhappiness and self-destructive behaviors. But it was too late; years of being cruel to her children had taken their toll. Her children, for the most part, would not hear her. Then, one day and quite suddenly, she died.
Fast forward a year and a half and I am a mother of an infant and am going through the normal marital problems of dealing with a growing family. I remember clearly that my son was sleeping and my husband was still at work. I was at the sink washing dishes thinking bitter thoughts when I suddenly felt my mother's arms around me. I began to cry. Then I heard her voice as clearly as she was in the room: "Don't go there! I taught you to think this way and I destroyed my marriage and my children. Please, for the good of us both, be grateful for the goodness of God and turn to Him instead." Pretty strange, huh?
Insights into the Vision Which Will Lead to the Theology of Purgatory and Redemption
I do not attempt to define my experience in the kitchen that evening but it did, in its own small way, change my life. Instead of dwelling on what my mother had done during her life I focused on what she wished for me now. (I firmly believe that at the moment of her death my mother was released from her diseased body and was finally free to love us as purely as she had always wanted to. What my mother wants for me now is to have a loving relationship with my husband and children and to work towards heaven by having God the center of my life.)
As you can imagine this takes a bit of practice. It's difficult when times are hard to become less ego-centric. Generally we are trained to ask "what's in it for me?". So I started asking different questions. One such question is: "What do I lose by being more loving to my husband when he upsets me instead of having to be right right now?" Sometimes being loving means standing up for yourself. Sometimes it means letting it go for the moment. Sometimes you realize that what upset you didn't really matter that much. But it never means being nasty or spiteful. Ever. It's taken a while but this has worked really well for us. My husband and children know that now matter how angry I get that I am willing to work through things. It gives them a sense of peace and protection. Allowing love to enter into a situation is allowing God into a situation. Miracles do happen.
Now let me go back to what my mother said about being more loving "for the good of us both". I have been thinking about this statement for years. This statement only makes sense if, through the will of God, we are still in a relationship that death could not overcome. I believe that the love we have for one another still binds us and gives us strength for our journeys. It means that somehow we need each other for our mutual salvation. Catholics believe that souls in purgatory cannot pray for themselves and rely on the living to aid them with prayers, masses said for them, acts of charity, and mortifications. Many souls in purgatory (though not all) can and do pray for the living. Thus my belief that my prayers for my mother have aided her through purgatory and her prayers for me have allowed her to intercede for me at a critical moment in my life is theologically correct.
If there is a main focus to my theology as a mother it is to allow God to enter into your life wherever you and and to have CARITAS, the love of God that is the inspiration of all charitable thoughts and actions, to be the center of your life. This is because as moms we are called to the daunting task of caring for God's precious, helpless souls. We might not, due to our unique circumstances, be able to carry out our Catholic obligations in the traditional way. This does not excuse us from our obligations but instead invites us to do so creatively.
I have had masses said for my mother. I pray for her. I light votives (candles) for her at church and when I'm visiting holy shrines. When I get the time I say rosaries for her. I do not fast because I believe that while I have young children my body isn't my own and needs care so that I can care for them. I do abstain from meat on Fridays though. But upon reflection I have given up my "right" to bitterness and "being right". Out of love for my mother I have taken her advice and trusted God more. I have become more grateful. I believe that by actively shedding the bad habits my mother taught me that I have advanced out mutual salvation. I have become less of a victim of my childhood and am being transformed into the woman God wants me to be.
I love you, mom. Ora pro me. (Pray for me.)
Monday, May 23, 2011
Blowing it
We mothers have been around since the beginning of time. Obviously we have been doing something right or humanity would not have endured this long. You would think that we could come up with some sort of rules that go beyond the necessity of snack and nap times. Nope. For us moms each child is a new adventure with a new set of rules. This is why we have to be so careful about giving and receiving advice.
Lately I've had to deal with a bully at my son's school. Yes, kids will be kids. Yes, there will be troubled and troubling kids everywhere you go. And yes, I am very aware that my now four year old is far from perfect. But do not tell me that every time my child (or another - we moms do talk after all) comes home complaining that a certain bruise or scrape is from a certain child that it couldn't be happening... well, I get a bit... upset. I send direct letters to the school. I listen in awe as they explain that Certain Child is so sweet and all of these bumps and bruises (which aren't happening) are accidents and that said Sweet Child couldn't be causing said non-existent injuries because there are two adults watching him at all times and he's not allowed to interact with the other children which is really a shame because said Child is so sweet. Oh, and my kid isn't perfect, either. So there. So we pulled my son from this school and will be sending him to a Catholic school in the fall.
Some people have been telling me that I have been unreasonably angry about this. Maybe I have been. But my son has been saying things that I find really disturbing. Such as: "I like it when he hits me because then he gives me a hug afterward. Isn't that what friends do?" or "The teacher lets him do it so it's ok." Call me crazy but I like discipline. I like rules and boundaries. I like having rewards for good behavior and 'time - out' for poor behavior. Most of all I like stability. If your life is stable enough you can afford to be flexible. But I'm not buying that hitting is justifiable because affection is given afterwards. This is not sweet or cute behavior.
So how did I blow it? I let vent my fury in front of my child. Not directed at him, of course. But what does a child know about these things? He just knew that I was upset and thought that it was his fault.
Ladies, I'll be honest. The little guy I used to know so well is growing up. I have a little girl who still gets up several times a night. I miss things. I am cranky when I should be smiling. I feel a bit like I'm drowning slowly. And I hate it.
I am trying so hard to see myself as Jesus does but I haven't managed yet. But whenever I think I can't see things clearly anymore I try to see my children as Jesus does. That helps. It reminds me that at times my children really are being a pain and need discipline.
In the meantime my son has stopped 'hitting to hurt' and his temper tantrums. I guess that's something anyway.
Lately I've had to deal with a bully at my son's school. Yes, kids will be kids. Yes, there will be troubled and troubling kids everywhere you go. And yes, I am very aware that my now four year old is far from perfect. But do not tell me that every time my child (or another - we moms do talk after all) comes home complaining that a certain bruise or scrape is from a certain child that it couldn't be happening... well, I get a bit... upset. I send direct letters to the school. I listen in awe as they explain that Certain Child is so sweet and all of these bumps and bruises (which aren't happening) are accidents and that said Sweet Child couldn't be causing said non-existent injuries because there are two adults watching him at all times and he's not allowed to interact with the other children which is really a shame because said Child is so sweet. Oh, and my kid isn't perfect, either. So there. So we pulled my son from this school and will be sending him to a Catholic school in the fall.
Some people have been telling me that I have been unreasonably angry about this. Maybe I have been. But my son has been saying things that I find really disturbing. Such as: "I like it when he hits me because then he gives me a hug afterward. Isn't that what friends do?" or "The teacher lets him do it so it's ok." Call me crazy but I like discipline. I like rules and boundaries. I like having rewards for good behavior and 'time - out' for poor behavior. Most of all I like stability. If your life is stable enough you can afford to be flexible. But I'm not buying that hitting is justifiable because affection is given afterwards. This is not sweet or cute behavior.
So how did I blow it? I let vent my fury in front of my child. Not directed at him, of course. But what does a child know about these things? He just knew that I was upset and thought that it was his fault.
Ladies, I'll be honest. The little guy I used to know so well is growing up. I have a little girl who still gets up several times a night. I miss things. I am cranky when I should be smiling. I feel a bit like I'm drowning slowly. And I hate it.
I am trying so hard to see myself as Jesus does but I haven't managed yet. But whenever I think I can't see things clearly anymore I try to see my children as Jesus does. That helps. It reminds me that at times my children really are being a pain and need discipline.
In the meantime my son has stopped 'hitting to hurt' and his temper tantrums. I guess that's something anyway.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Wounds
Hello Ladies,
This will be a short post as I would eventually like to get some sleep (after I clean the kitchen, of course).
I last wrote on Good Friday about going into the tomb to allow God to transform everything that is dead in your life. The idea is to totally surrender to God. The tomb is a place where you don't have to have all the answers. It is a place where you don't need to defend yourself or fix any part of your life. It is a place of peace and trust where you allow God to work in your life. When you leave this place (and we never really leave, do we?) you will be transformed.
It sounds so nice, doesn't it? Kind of like a spa for the soul. And it should be. Except that most of us, myself included, don't want to give up that much control. And generally we are the last to notice when God is working in our lives. And we so want to quantify things. At least I do. It would be so nice if we could leave the tomb whole and healed and ready to work miracles.
Well, Ladies, Jesus has been there before us and even He had scars. In fact, He was recognized by his scars. Was Jesus transformed? Yes. Did He perform miracles? Yes. Did he still have work to do? Yes. So what is the point of this blog entry? Simply to say that our work, our wounds if you will, have meaning if we are centered on the transforming love of Jesus. I do not mean mindless obedience to dogma or tradition that hinders your ability to function lovingly. (I must state here that I believe that dogma and tradition are in place to support our ability to function lovingly.) Remember that our role as mothers is to make our children fit for the kingdom of heaven. We do this through the grace of God. Our actions should be based on Caritas, the love which inspires action.
So what can we expect when we leave the tomb? I cannot possibly say. All that I know is that when I take the time to surrender myself to God that I become a little bit more loving in unexpected ways. Some days I would love to stay in the tomb. But then who would do the dishes? Sometimes the miracle is finding the strength to do it myself.
May God grant you plenty of rest.
This will be a short post as I would eventually like to get some sleep (after I clean the kitchen, of course).
I last wrote on Good Friday about going into the tomb to allow God to transform everything that is dead in your life. The idea is to totally surrender to God. The tomb is a place where you don't have to have all the answers. It is a place where you don't need to defend yourself or fix any part of your life. It is a place of peace and trust where you allow God to work in your life. When you leave this place (and we never really leave, do we?) you will be transformed.
It sounds so nice, doesn't it? Kind of like a spa for the soul. And it should be. Except that most of us, myself included, don't want to give up that much control. And generally we are the last to notice when God is working in our lives. And we so want to quantify things. At least I do. It would be so nice if we could leave the tomb whole and healed and ready to work miracles.
Well, Ladies, Jesus has been there before us and even He had scars. In fact, He was recognized by his scars. Was Jesus transformed? Yes. Did He perform miracles? Yes. Did he still have work to do? Yes. So what is the point of this blog entry? Simply to say that our work, our wounds if you will, have meaning if we are centered on the transforming love of Jesus. I do not mean mindless obedience to dogma or tradition that hinders your ability to function lovingly. (I must state here that I believe that dogma and tradition are in place to support our ability to function lovingly.) Remember that our role as mothers is to make our children fit for the kingdom of heaven. We do this through the grace of God. Our actions should be based on Caritas, the love which inspires action.
So what can we expect when we leave the tomb? I cannot possibly say. All that I know is that when I take the time to surrender myself to God that I become a little bit more loving in unexpected ways. Some days I would love to stay in the tomb. But then who would do the dishes? Sometimes the miracle is finding the strength to do it myself.
May God grant you plenty of rest.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
The Tomb
Hello Ladies,
Today I have been thinking quite a bit about death. It's rather a scary thought, isn't it? For me it means separation from my children. Who would care for them? Who would remind them of my love for them? Who would give them snuggles and kisses? No, the thought of leaving my children is terrifying. But I think there is something deeper than that. Death is the ultimate loss of control. Death reminds us that we are not the masters of our bodies or our destinies.
Jesus died. Jesus died in the most cruel, humiliating, painful way the Roman Empire could devise. He was beaten, stripped, and put on display for all to see. Every groan, every bodily function was open to ridicule. And then he was hastily shut away in a tomb so the living could observe a religious holiday. His loved ones would have to finish preparing his body for final burial until after he had become putrid. So He lay in the tomb until...
Let's not get ahead of ourselves. We all know the story of the resurrection; Jesus conquered death. What happened in that tomb? How was Jesus' body transformed from a frail, human body to a resurrected, heavenly body? We won't know until we get there. But the message is clear: we need not fear death. And whatever happened in that tomb was done by God.
I believe that motherhood is the path of small-deaths. Every day we put our own hopes and desires on hold so that we can care for our families. It becomes so entrenched in our beings that we forget to dream. (Don't get me started on lack of sleep.) Sometimes we have a vague sense that we are losing our way but what can we do? Most of the time we're lucky to get through the day.
Ladies, we need to enter the tomb. We need to lie there in the dark and quiet and do absolutely nothing. We need to let God do His work. It need not be scary; Jesus has been there. Let it be the one time of the day when you don't have to prove yourself to anybody. You don't have to defend yourself. You don't have to say a dozen rosaries to prepare. You don't have to change a diaper or worry about the dishes in the sink. You don't have to deal with the bully at school. Nothing. Just you and God. And God is doing all the work. God is taking the responsibility. God is drying the tears after our tantrums and scraped knees. God is taking those small deaths and making them into something new. All you have to do is show up and just be... accepted. Loved. Cherished. Forgiven. Transformed. We need to practice saying 'yes' to God in preparation for our own death.
Today I have been thinking quite a bit about death. It's rather a scary thought, isn't it? For me it means separation from my children. Who would care for them? Who would remind them of my love for them? Who would give them snuggles and kisses? No, the thought of leaving my children is terrifying. But I think there is something deeper than that. Death is the ultimate loss of control. Death reminds us that we are not the masters of our bodies or our destinies.
Jesus died. Jesus died in the most cruel, humiliating, painful way the Roman Empire could devise. He was beaten, stripped, and put on display for all to see. Every groan, every bodily function was open to ridicule. And then he was hastily shut away in a tomb so the living could observe a religious holiday. His loved ones would have to finish preparing his body for final burial until after he had become putrid. So He lay in the tomb until...
Let's not get ahead of ourselves. We all know the story of the resurrection; Jesus conquered death. What happened in that tomb? How was Jesus' body transformed from a frail, human body to a resurrected, heavenly body? We won't know until we get there. But the message is clear: we need not fear death. And whatever happened in that tomb was done by God.
I believe that motherhood is the path of small-deaths. Every day we put our own hopes and desires on hold so that we can care for our families. It becomes so entrenched in our beings that we forget to dream. (Don't get me started on lack of sleep.) Sometimes we have a vague sense that we are losing our way but what can we do? Most of the time we're lucky to get through the day.
Ladies, we need to enter the tomb. We need to lie there in the dark and quiet and do absolutely nothing. We need to let God do His work. It need not be scary; Jesus has been there. Let it be the one time of the day when you don't have to prove yourself to anybody. You don't have to defend yourself. You don't have to say a dozen rosaries to prepare. You don't have to change a diaper or worry about the dishes in the sink. You don't have to deal with the bully at school. Nothing. Just you and God. And God is doing all the work. God is taking the responsibility. God is drying the tears after our tantrums and scraped knees. God is taking those small deaths and making them into something new. All you have to do is show up and just be... accepted. Loved. Cherished. Forgiven. Transformed. We need to practice saying 'yes' to God in preparation for our own death.
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